I Wanna Be Like...

A bunch of people, it turns out.

On a chair in my bedroom, there sits a big blue book called The Secret Language of Birthdays. If it sounds familiar, there’s a good chance you’ve encountered it before — it’s one of those titles that’s always kicking around, at a friend’s house, in a bargain bin, or on display at Urban Outfitters.

I do not like this book. I don’t remember how it came int…