What I Learned This Year

one simple thing.

My birthday is this week, a date that functions as a personal New Year — a time to take stock, set goals, and entertain some mix of gratitude, grief, inspiration, nostalgia, and whoever else comes to the table.

In past years, I also approached it as a newsletter occasion. I planned big posts, scheduled sales, tried to seize the moment. But this year, the moment seized me.

There’s a draft in the works, but it’s not quite ready. It feels hard to land right now — difficult to sit still, round up the thoughts, corral them into tidy bundles to share with you. Grief isn’t linear, and it comes in waves and bursts. For that matter, so does art.

In the past, I would’ve pushed through. I would’ve finished the post, scheduled a birthday sale on paid subscriptions, tried to force an occasion so I could find something to feel proud of, with the dopamine spike to prove it. I would’ve tried to earn the approval that I couldn’t offer myself. (Spoiler alert: it never worked.)

But this year, I’m giving myself some grace.

This, too, is progress.

I share this with you not merely as an explanation, but as permission. Be kind to yourself, whatever that looks like for you on this day. Because in this weird, wild world of ours, kindness matters more than ever.

Our culture would have us believe we are only as valuable as our output (and in some cases, the reception). But, no. I’m not falling for that bait and I’m not perpetuating it.

That’s what I’ve learned this year.

Gnocchi — my model of self-kindness — in warm, just-laundered sheets.

In the meantime, if you’re in a reading mood, I encourage you to check out (or revisit) these favorite posts from birthdays past.

Two years ago, on the cusp of 39:

…and last year, on the cusp of 40:

Indeed, the tradition of annual takeaways (plus card) will continue, and land in your inbox whenever it’s ready (AKA later this week).

Sending you kindness and care. As always, thank you for reading. x