Because you included Devany Amber Wolfe’s The Fool, I’d be remiss not to mention something she just posted in regards to her own tumultuous 2023 and current transition... “To deny the ouroboros of unbecoming, to deny the phoenix her ash phase - is violence. Betrayal. So here's to turning to ash. Here's to unbecoming so that we may arise again anew. Here's to simplifying life. Here's to not giving a fuck about anything that isn't truly important.” Those words socked me right in the guts. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I’m here for the ash phase, the rising phase, the flying phase, whatever this year holds for you. And I’m definitely here with kindness.
So much wisdom in this column, the kind that can only come from living through difficulty and unanswerable questions. I sit, palms open, holding space. Thank you for sharing
The beginnings and ends that you mention, which receive more attention than the middle, are parallel to our seeming obsessions with our memories of the past and our trepidations for the future. Both of those are also overrated.
Just as you advise focusing on the middle, the journey, it’s my thought that we need to live more in the present, enjoying the moment. The past is mummified and the future lives In a cocoon.
Caroline, I dearly love your writings and savor them as they arrive in my box. I hope to be able to subscribe to your amazing work as my luck changes with future employment. In the meantime, my heartfelt condolences to you for your many losses this past year. Wishing you a gentle, sweet year in 2024.🙏🏼❤️
Ahhh, but the middle is so hard. That's when things fall apart. David Mamet, in his book Three Uses of the Knife, says this: "...remembering you set out to drain the swamp is hard when you’re up to your ass in alligators."
Thank you for this. It is capitalism that has convinced us that the only option for success or happiness is growth, more more more. It's just not tenable to live a life constantly chasing, or that down periods are personal failures. Tbh, i feel like 2023 was either amazing or downright shitty for a lot of people! Hoping everyone has a great 2024 🩷
Allyssa, I believe that happiness is a marketing ploy. A myth, designed to persuade us to buy things that will "make" us happy. I subscribe to contentment. Now THIS is the real deal.👀
So good to read your writing again! I've been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and wondering how you were holding up. Dont' know if this is helpful but wanted to share that I lost my father last year and recently noticed that my physical grief is so much more easily managed and that is such a gift. I miss him so much and still think about him all the time and while I don't think my grief has actually lessened, I can (sometimes) remember him without feeling like someone just punched me in the gut. That initial, raw stage was just so awful - at least for me - and I'm glad my grief has morphed. Anyway, if that's how you're feeling some days, maybe knowing that the physical reactions will eventually ease is a hopeful thought.
I love this reminder to embrace the "middle" of things - I am always rushing towards the end (what then?!) or fantasizing about starting something new (can't be a failure if it's brand new!) instead of whole-heartedly digging into the messy, often thankless, real work of life.
Caroline! What a way to start the new year. You hit it out of the park, as my Dad would say.
I’m so sorry for your losses. We are here for you. We appreciate you. You are not alone.
I have had the same losses over three years. Is there a card about prolong loss and/or concentrated loss? The lesson of permanence or lack of sometimes keeps me clinging to a rock. Your words have my eyes on The Fool. New year. New focus. Thank you. I’ll reread until I’m pointed in a new direction and perhaps sail into the abyss.
May the new year bring to you what you’ve just brought to me/us. My deepest gratitude to you, Caroline.
Wishing you a 2024 that is about feeling it all, being with what is, honouring the middle, resisting the chase, touching your heart, sharing what you can, and love, always love.
Wow, what a great post! Such depth, but also so palatable & easy to read. I am new to your subscription, and loving it so far. Happy 2024! Your presence in this space is so valuable.
Because you included Devany Amber Wolfe’s The Fool, I’d be remiss not to mention something she just posted in regards to her own tumultuous 2023 and current transition... “To deny the ouroboros of unbecoming, to deny the phoenix her ash phase - is violence. Betrayal. So here's to turning to ash. Here's to unbecoming so that we may arise again anew. Here's to simplifying life. Here's to not giving a fuck about anything that isn't truly important.” Those words socked me right in the guts. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I’m here for the ash phase, the rising phase, the flying phase, whatever this year holds for you. And I’m definitely here with kindness.
Thank you so much. I am grateful for you.
So much wisdom in this column, the kind that can only come from living through difficulty and unanswerable questions. I sit, palms open, holding space. Thank you for sharing
Thank you so much, Linda
The beginnings and ends that you mention, which receive more attention than the middle, are parallel to our seeming obsessions with our memories of the past and our trepidations for the future. Both of those are also overrated.
Just as you advise focusing on the middle, the journey, it’s my thought that we need to live more in the present, enjoying the moment. The past is mummified and the future lives In a cocoon.
Ah, I love this. A very poetic way to frame it. Thank you.
The middle is always the juiciest. The most tender. The sweetest. May we all spend as much time as we can there. The middle has all the good stuff.
Sending you so much love during this transition, very grateful we were graced with your beautiful words today.
Caroline, I dearly love your writings and savor them as they arrive in my box. I hope to be able to subscribe to your amazing work as my luck changes with future employment. In the meantime, my heartfelt condolences to you for your many losses this past year. Wishing you a gentle, sweet year in 2024.🙏🏼❤️
Thank you so much, Laurie. I appreciate it. Wishing you all the best for 2024.
Ahhh, but the middle is so hard. That's when things fall apart. David Mamet, in his book Three Uses of the Knife, says this: "...remembering you set out to drain the swamp is hard when you’re up to your ass in alligators."
Thank you for this. It is capitalism that has convinced us that the only option for success or happiness is growth, more more more. It's just not tenable to live a life constantly chasing, or that down periods are personal failures. Tbh, i feel like 2023 was either amazing or downright shitty for a lot of people! Hoping everyone has a great 2024 🩷
Allyssa, I believe that happiness is a marketing ploy. A myth, designed to persuade us to buy things that will "make" us happy. I subscribe to contentment. Now THIS is the real deal.👀
So good to read your writing again! I've been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and wondering how you were holding up. Dont' know if this is helpful but wanted to share that I lost my father last year and recently noticed that my physical grief is so much more easily managed and that is such a gift. I miss him so much and still think about him all the time and while I don't think my grief has actually lessened, I can (sometimes) remember him without feeling like someone just punched me in the gut. That initial, raw stage was just so awful - at least for me - and I'm glad my grief has morphed. Anyway, if that's how you're feeling some days, maybe knowing that the physical reactions will eventually ease is a hopeful thought.
I love this reminder to embrace the "middle" of things - I am always rushing towards the end (what then?!) or fantasizing about starting something new (can't be a failure if it's brand new!) instead of whole-heartedly digging into the messy, often thankless, real work of life.
Caroline! What a way to start the new year. You hit it out of the park, as my Dad would say.
I’m so sorry for your losses. We are here for you. We appreciate you. You are not alone.
I have had the same losses over three years. Is there a card about prolong loss and/or concentrated loss? The lesson of permanence or lack of sometimes keeps me clinging to a rock. Your words have my eyes on The Fool. New year. New focus. Thank you. I’ll reread until I’m pointed in a new direction and perhaps sail into the abyss.
May the new year bring to you what you’ve just brought to me/us. My deepest gratitude to you, Caroline.
And yes to kindness.
Wishing you a 2024 that is about feeling it all, being with what is, honouring the middle, resisting the chase, touching your heart, sharing what you can, and love, always love.
It's lovely to read your beautiful words again. I'm so sorry for what you've been going through. Wishing you all the strength and support ❤️
Thank you, Jacey. ❤️
Sending you much love as you navigate your grief.
I so identify with the phoenix and have for as long as I can remember. Each day, we have an opportunity to rise from the ashes.
Also, my little sister had that Cookie Monster counter!!
Thank you for your words. Sending light
The middle 💛 yes.
So lovely to read your words today.
❤️
Wow, what a great post! Such depth, but also so palatable & easy to read. I am new to your subscription, and loving it so far. Happy 2024! Your presence in this space is so valuable.