A Tale of Two Fools
On doing what scares you. (+ a video!)
They say every journey begins with a single step. This one began with a question.
“Would you be up for doing a reading or card pull or whatever with me via video?”
The words landed in my inbox via
, the writer and comedian behind the zany-yet-tender, who’d been noodling over a way we might collaborate.Though he professed to be a “skeptic worm,” I knew he and his wife, Lauren, own a tarot deck and that he is genuinely curious about all things “magic”—in other words, that this wasn’t purely a stunt for the sake of material. And while I’ve harbored a fear of being recorded since The Great Reality Show Disaster of 2005 (if you’re new here, the CliffsNotes version is thus: I briefly appeared on a reality show, it sucked, I discuss it here), I’ve been doing my best to confront this demon. So my answer was an enthusiastic yes.
This was new territory in more ways than one. Though I’ve given tarot readings for friends for years—“bring your cards!” is a common request before dinners or parties, not to mention “can you pull a card…” texts that pop up at all hours—I’ve been hesitant to offer them in a more official capacity. And this one came with its own special set of concerns.
A tarot reading can be a vulnerable experience. Even if the querent doesn’t bring a deep or difficult question to the table, it’s an act of inquiry, an exchange of energy. (There’s a reason card readings are often concealed behind a curtain at the back of metaphysical shops.) What if the knowledge that we were recording made me veer into performance mode, versus making an authentic connection?
So, yeah, I was not without my concerns.
Still, in many ways a card reading—at least, my style of reading—is simply a conversation. I am always open to hearing as much as the other person would like to share and exploring as much as the cards will show. And Alex, bless his open book of a heart, brought as much of the same honesty and humor and self-deprecating vulnerability to the reading as he does to his newsletter.
He shared what was on his mind—concerns for his family’s future and stepping into a new role, particularly in light of Lauren’s recent career change and a second baby on the way. If you watch the video (which obviously you should), I’m sure we can all recognize a bit of ourselves in him, even if the particulars around our experiences are quite different.
And then we got to pulling cards.
Some swords and pentacles and two Major Arcana—Judgement and The Fool—came to the table. Alex was the best kind of querent—enthusiastic and interested, with reactions for each card. (I mean, I’d expect nothing less from a comedian on camera, but still.) I could tell he was forming his own impressions and making his own connections as I went through each interpretation, which made the process collaborative and fun.
Some prescient themes emerged—embracing changing circumstances; not clinging too tightly to what we have so that we can remain open to new opportunities; how it can be good to simply acknowledge when we’re juggling a lot; playing an active role in offering ourselves forgiveness and understanding.
The bulk of our reading (and conversation…and potentially the immediate future of Alex’s life, although he’s an adult and that is on him) hinged on the final card—The Fool.
Many tarot readers will tell you they’re not partial to any cards, but I have no problem professing that The Fool is my favorite.
If you’re unacquainted, here are some facts: The Fool is the very first card of the deck. It bears the number “0.” The Joker from traditional playing cards is based on it.
At its most basic level, the tarot is a depiction of universal human experience—78 cards relating to thoughts and circumstances we can all recognize. But as The Fool is the first character to appear, it is technically their journey.
I have a picture of The Fool on this newsletter’s About Page because it’s a symbol of risk, bravery, innocence, optimism, and new beginnings. The Fool has a beginner’s mindset. They may be completely unprepared for what lies on the other side of that cliff, but they’re going for it, anyway. They have a beautiful spirit of hope, discovery, and possibility about them…kind of like Alex. (And like all of us, at times.)
After I made my way through the cards, Alex shared his thoughts, and in that uncanny way that often happens during readings, things surfaced that he hadn’t originally mentioned. The cards showed a distinct theme around changing not only circumstance but location, and unbeknownst to me, a big source of his anxiety stemmed from a potential move.
I’ll often liken tarot to a Rorschach test, or to the gut reaction we have when we flip a coin. The “power,” if you will, is less about the image or symbol itself and more about our impressions of it. But I cannot ignore the way the “right” cards tend to show up—bearing the questions, messages, or ideas we most need—sometimes on repeat. Maybe we simply see what we want to. But that is no less amazing.
As our conversation turned to future plans, I shared my reticence to offer readings, despite receiving a number of requests. I rattled off a list of fears and excuses, which seemed very solid in my head but didn’t outweigh the part of me that would really like to try.
“It sounds like you need a little fool energy,” Alex said. Touché.
Before a reading, I always offer up a disclaimer: It’s not a psychic reading or fortunetelling exercise, it’s not a forum for advice, it’s more like facilitating a deeper conversation with yourself. The tarot loves to answer questions with more questions. Our goal is not to see into the future, but rather to confront the future with new ways of seeing.
But the gift of tarot is that those new ways of seeing are open to us all.
Somewhere along the way, I’d completely forgotten we were recording. All I knew was that I wanted to make another video! And offer personalized readings! And try new things. The Fool had spoken to me, too.
We are all The Fool, greeting each day as best we can. Summoning the hope and (sometimes foolish) optimism to dream, to try, to start anew.
For Alex’s take on the same experience (meta), check out his companion piece on Both Are True.
And for a front row seat to our conversation, here is the tape:
Thanks so much for reading. We’ll be back on our interview game next Wednesday with a Q&A I’m very excited about. ❤️ Have a good week, and I’ll see you on Sunday. x
I hope you do more readings! It would be esp good for those of us trying to get into tarot but unsure how. ❤️
That was wonderful! More of these, please!!