"Gandalf at a high school dance" made me laugh out loud. Also 7 of swords is clearly spot on since I couldn't even bear to read the description at first, only skim, so shrouded in self denial that I couldn't bear a close reading (I have remedied that, give back and faced the words).
I love that you identified both scenarios: sometimes we know what we are hiding and live a secret life in our heads, but also sometimes we have a feeling that we are hiding something from ourselves, but don't yet know what it is. I find the second one so challenging!
I'm reminded of the scene from The Hurt Locker, when Jeremy Renner's character goes back to civilian life (after defusing bombs in the Middle East) and stands in the cereal aisle, paralyzed by the number of choices.
When I moved to Houston, I spent two days setting up my apartment eating almost nothing. I finally drove out to a nearby Albertsons. In that delirium I was overwhelmed by the cornucopia, almost to the point of tears.
Thank you. Thoughtful on the "surrounds" these days, of anyone with means. You said it. "What are we actually seeking? And what is the true path to the lives and ideals we’re being sold?"
Once again, your words resonate. Big time. Fortunately, I find it easy to avoid Tik Tok. My weakness is the Wirecutter. Always looking for an upgrade that will change my life.
How am I cheating myself? What am I seeking? I will remind myself of these questions. Thank you.
I've also been wrestling with my consumerism and my defiant refusal to join TikTok even though I am pretty sure I need to for my job. I both love Target, and start to feel anxious and queasy after five minutes of being there. Is my shopping acceptable if I'm buying secondhand clothing? Probably not if they're still dresses for an old life / a future life / any life but the one I'm in.
I can understand what you mean by stating that the commercials we remember are the ones that spoke to us regarding our basic needs. As a kid I remember watching the black and white commercials for Lucky Strike cigarettes with a line of cigarette packs kicking up their heels like the Rockettes and thinking of the image as a form of togetherness, of fun, of adult life. And later, of course, there were the Life commercials with Mikey (a kid who, normally derided, suddenly becomes the most popular guy in the group) and Coca-Cola’s I Want To Teach the World to Sing.
These ruminations could not have been more perfectly timed as I stew in my regret of an impulse fast fashion purchase from the weekend. Thankfully, I’ve got free returns. Why is it that new, shiny stuff makes us feel like it’s all going to be okay?! Glad to know I’m not the k my one struggling with consumerism. As always, thank you!
"Gandalf at a high school dance" made me laugh out loud. Also 7 of swords is clearly spot on since I couldn't even bear to read the description at first, only skim, so shrouded in self denial that I couldn't bear a close reading (I have remedied that, give back and faced the words).
Thank you, Julie ❤️
"How are you cheating yourself?"
I love that you identified both scenarios: sometimes we know what we are hiding and live a secret life in our heads, but also sometimes we have a feeling that we are hiding something from ourselves, but don't yet know what it is. I find the second one so challenging!
Are you suggesting it might be time to grieve the smooth, glossy, chic, admired life I will never live??
"How am I cheating myself?" A profound question to take into my week...
The seven of swords is the story of my life!
I am the 7th child. 7 is my "lucky" number. 7 is a "spiritual" number....
I am a people pleaser.
I am crap at self-care.
BUT... I do not seek comfort by purchasing crap.
I'm really glad. A friend continuously and relentlessly seeks acceptance and validation by buying crap, the rush of the purchase. I do not.
I have climate anxiety. It is real.
I'm reminded of the scene from The Hurt Locker, when Jeremy Renner's character goes back to civilian life (after defusing bombs in the Middle East) and stands in the cereal aisle, paralyzed by the number of choices.
Last week, I decided to order an Emily Dickinson tarot deck and it arrives today and I can't wait to use it and ask myself so many questions.
Yes!! That sounds amazing. (And you bring up an excellent point - books and tarot decks are purchases that invariably do enhance my life.)
When I moved to Houston, I spent two days setting up my apartment eating almost nothing. I finally drove out to a nearby Albertsons. In that delirium I was overwhelmed by the cornucopia, almost to the point of tears.
Thank you. Thoughtful on the "surrounds" these days, of anyone with means. You said it. "What are we actually seeking? And what is the true path to the lives and ideals we’re being sold?"
Once again, your words resonate. Big time. Fortunately, I find it easy to avoid Tik Tok. My weakness is the Wirecutter. Always looking for an upgrade that will change my life.
How am I cheating myself? What am I seeking? I will remind myself of these questions. Thank you.
“The tiny bit of hope, so fleeting it was almost imperceptible, that I was on my way to becoming someone new.” Beautiful, and so so relatable.
Thank you, Maddie!
I've also been wrestling with my consumerism and my defiant refusal to join TikTok even though I am pretty sure I need to for my job. I both love Target, and start to feel anxious and queasy after five minutes of being there. Is my shopping acceptable if I'm buying secondhand clothing? Probably not if they're still dresses for an old life / a future life / any life but the one I'm in.
So much to think about--thank you for writing...
I can understand what you mean by stating that the commercials we remember are the ones that spoke to us regarding our basic needs. As a kid I remember watching the black and white commercials for Lucky Strike cigarettes with a line of cigarette packs kicking up their heels like the Rockettes and thinking of the image as a form of togetherness, of fun, of adult life. And later, of course, there were the Life commercials with Mikey (a kid who, normally derided, suddenly becomes the most popular guy in the group) and Coca-Cola’s I Want To Teach the World to Sing.
These ruminations could not have been more perfectly timed as I stew in my regret of an impulse fast fashion purchase from the weekend. Thankfully, I’ve got free returns. Why is it that new, shiny stuff makes us feel like it’s all going to be okay?! Glad to know I’m not the k my one struggling with consumerism. As always, thank you!
Another excellent and thought provoking read this morning, thank you.