I have had to unfollow a lot of substacks recently that share clothing recommendations that are ridiculously priced. A pair of sunglasses for $600, a shirt for $300. The questions and feelings these substacks illicted left me burnt out. It was refreshing to read this week's newsletter. As always, thank you Caroline for keeping it real.
I'm the other one. My husband and I have an art business and I worked all last week and this weekend on the discounted pieces, landing page, social graphics, email, and a separate Substack post that pretends to be a post until the end with all the sale messaging. And I hate it. I hate that it won't rise above the noise. I hate that it was probably a waste of time. I hate begging people for their hard earned money in this economy. I hate that we live in this world where we have to make the things and then sell the things. And I hate that I hate it. That's a lot of hate for something so meaningless in the grand scheme. But people tell us our work inspires them when they wake up and see it on their wall. I just have to remember that for every hundred people who opt out, there will be a person who sees it as that courage paperweight.
SO timely. This weekend, I started a Note called "Things I Almost Bought But Didn't" and the list is growing and ridiculous. I have ADHD, so impulsivity is in my brain and my bones, but I found that writing it all out is a dopamine hit in a way because the laugh I get when I return to the list is fun.
Oh, I meant to add that I am systematically going through things, like shampoo and soap and the hundred lotions and lip balms I have and committing to using them up before buying more or tossing them if they are too old to be good anymore or if they just were never what I liked. This has been challenging but good for me. I still have 20 bottles of styling products and stuff in the shower, but I’m using things again to test them and make decisions. With curly hair, it’s always a work in progress. Anyway, I do this with extra intention with the waning moon - I focus on release then, and building in the waxing moon.
Thanks for reinforcing my sentiments about all this stuff buying nonsense. And the two of cards objectives. As you age buying, or even acquiring ‘unnecessary or really unwanted stuff’ as gifts or purchases becomes SO much less important. I’ve just come to the UK to see my daughter from Spain where I live and feel sooo overwhelmed by the intense commercial push or need for people to buy, buy, buy! Just walking through one mall yesterday seeing the bulging bags of products probably bought blindly on credit cards in order to feel they’ve ‘done’ Christmas was quite sad. Spain in my view is still quite behind the times in this regard, not only as we earn much less but Christmas ‘giving’ still feels very real, meaningful and simple. Having cleared my Mum’s home of a mountain of ‘stuff’ that she never ever used a few years back, I have pledged to never have my daughter do that for us. That stops me buying.
I love your practice of waiting to buy things and very much identify with the "it's on sale, must buy now!" trick. Instantaneousness purchases often leave me cold. There's something about wanting, holding out, and finally acquiring that enhances pleasure and satisfaction. I can't explain why but it feels more elegant, too. Like you can enjoy your own appetite and desire--wade in it a while.
Ugh, I hate gift guides. They always seem so sales-pitchy and elitist, and not at all personal. I like giving gifts that are meaningful to the individual, and lately I've been focusing on experiences or activities rather than more things. We all have so many things!
Agreed. I’m also bothered by the part where they’re positioned as a public service, when in truth most publications stand to profit from them. The most cherished things I’ve received were often of the random “I saw this and thought of you” variety, rather than tied to any holiday. I wish we could all just skip the fanfare and do what’s from the heart!
If you are looking to reduce the number of catalogs that come into your home, I recommend catalogchoice.org. It is free and easy to use. I was able to dramatically reduce the amount of unwanted paper coming into our home with a 1-2 hours worth of effort.
I wish there were an equivalent tool for reducing the amount of marketing email that I get.
I was plunged into poverty a couple of years ago after a separation (he was also my business partner), and I had no choice but to change my mindset around spending...but then I think I git too identified with it and created a really heavy poverty mindset...so I've been trying to recalibrate myself to a place where I can feel both abundant and...I dunno...I guess, "mindful" of my budget lol. It's a delicate one...
Could not agree more. I increasingly look for ways to have and gift experiences instead of things. An excursion to make a memory perhaps, or another way to spend meaningful time together. But the sense of pressure to consume is real, and the constantly moving goal posts of bigger, better, more are taking us away from what really matters. 💕✨
"as though I possess a small army of dehydrated mouths" - haha, such a good line!
Particularly meaningful Tarot pull. I have been writing my memoir since August. I felt energetically revitalized and have been enjoying every second of my writing. I envision a future lead by my stories. I finally admitted to myself what always wanted to be: a writer! A published author! I realized I have a pretty poignant, interesting, and significant story as it pertains to childhood, addiction, relationships and love. So off I go with that. I haven't opened a single gift guide, I'm to busy writing! xxoo
Thank you, Kristen! I’m so glad to hear about the momentum on your memoir! It’s such a good feeling to be immersed in a project, particularly when it’s a meaningful one. Excited to hear how it progresses. xx
“The March of the Merch” is a great line! Like, “The March of the Wooden Soldiers”, only with Prada and Rag & Bone 👗 👠 🧥 so funny, I have six catalogs sitting on my table right now, I’m gonna chuck them. Thank you, Caroline, you’ve done a publish service tonight! 😉❤️
I so feel this. 💥 I don't look at/read gift guides unless there is a comedic spin.😍
Sometimes we need a little bump of magic in our lives to carry us to the other side and sometimes that magic looks like $50 paperweight. Loved that part!
I have had to unfollow a lot of substacks recently that share clothing recommendations that are ridiculously priced. A pair of sunglasses for $600, a shirt for $300. The questions and feelings these substacks illicted left me burnt out. It was refreshing to read this week's newsletter. As always, thank you Caroline for keeping it real.
I know the feeling! And also the questions. Thanks for reading, Amanda. Glad this one spoke to you, and grateful to hear I’m not alone.
I'm the other one. My husband and I have an art business and I worked all last week and this weekend on the discounted pieces, landing page, social graphics, email, and a separate Substack post that pretends to be a post until the end with all the sale messaging. And I hate it. I hate that it won't rise above the noise. I hate that it was probably a waste of time. I hate begging people for their hard earned money in this economy. I hate that we live in this world where we have to make the things and then sell the things. And I hate that I hate it. That's a lot of hate for something so meaningless in the grand scheme. But people tell us our work inspires them when they wake up and see it on their wall. I just have to remember that for every hundred people who opt out, there will be a person who sees it as that courage paperweight.
I breathes a long sigh and teared up reading your comment. Thank you for saying what's been in my head and heart.
"Breathed"
SO timely. This weekend, I started a Note called "Things I Almost Bought But Didn't" and the list is growing and ridiculous. I have ADHD, so impulsivity is in my brain and my bones, but I found that writing it all out is a dopamine hit in a way because the laugh I get when I return to the list is fun.
Example items:
Satin ribbon for chandelier (??)
T-strap heels from JCrew
Cliik Storage containers
Mary Jane heels from Anthro
Norfolk Pine Garland
Alpaca cardigan from Quince
Block heels from Seychelles
WHY SO MANY HEELS WHEN I ONLY WEAR SNEAKERS.
Oh gosh, I also have ADHD, and I know the feeling. Good call on the Note, I should do the same. The cheetah fleece is only the beginning.
Oh, I meant to add that I am systematically going through things, like shampoo and soap and the hundred lotions and lip balms I have and committing to using them up before buying more or tossing them if they are too old to be good anymore or if they just were never what I liked. This has been challenging but good for me. I still have 20 bottles of styling products and stuff in the shower, but I’m using things again to test them and make decisions. With curly hair, it’s always a work in progress. Anyway, I do this with extra intention with the waning moon - I focus on release then, and building in the waxing moon.
This was timely 💛 thank you, as always.
That paperweight sounds enchanting ✨
Thanks for reinforcing my sentiments about all this stuff buying nonsense. And the two of cards objectives. As you age buying, or even acquiring ‘unnecessary or really unwanted stuff’ as gifts or purchases becomes SO much less important. I’ve just come to the UK to see my daughter from Spain where I live and feel sooo overwhelmed by the intense commercial push or need for people to buy, buy, buy! Just walking through one mall yesterday seeing the bulging bags of products probably bought blindly on credit cards in order to feel they’ve ‘done’ Christmas was quite sad. Spain in my view is still quite behind the times in this regard, not only as we earn much less but Christmas ‘giving’ still feels very real, meaningful and simple. Having cleared my Mum’s home of a mountain of ‘stuff’ that she never ever used a few years back, I have pledged to never have my daughter do that for us. That stops me buying.
I love your practice of waiting to buy things and very much identify with the "it's on sale, must buy now!" trick. Instantaneousness purchases often leave me cold. There's something about wanting, holding out, and finally acquiring that enhances pleasure and satisfaction. I can't explain why but it feels more elegant, too. Like you can enjoy your own appetite and desire--wade in it a while.
Yes! That’s such a beautiful way of putting it.
Ugh, I hate gift guides. They always seem so sales-pitchy and elitist, and not at all personal. I like giving gifts that are meaningful to the individual, and lately I've been focusing on experiences or activities rather than more things. We all have so many things!
Agreed. I’m also bothered by the part where they’re positioned as a public service, when in truth most publications stand to profit from them. The most cherished things I’ve received were often of the random “I saw this and thought of you” variety, rather than tied to any holiday. I wish we could all just skip the fanfare and do what’s from the heart!
If you are looking to reduce the number of catalogs that come into your home, I recommend catalogchoice.org. It is free and easy to use. I was able to dramatically reduce the amount of unwanted paper coming into our home with a 1-2 hours worth of effort.
I wish there were an equivalent tool for reducing the amount of marketing email that I get.
I was plunged into poverty a couple of years ago after a separation (he was also my business partner), and I had no choice but to change my mindset around spending...but then I think I git too identified with it and created a really heavy poverty mindset...so I've been trying to recalibrate myself to a place where I can feel both abundant and...I dunno...I guess, "mindful" of my budget lol. It's a delicate one...
Could not agree more. I increasingly look for ways to have and gift experiences instead of things. An excursion to make a memory perhaps, or another way to spend meaningful time together. But the sense of pressure to consume is real, and the constantly moving goal posts of bigger, better, more are taking us away from what really matters. 💕✨
"as though I possess a small army of dehydrated mouths" - haha, such a good line!
Particularly meaningful Tarot pull. I have been writing my memoir since August. I felt energetically revitalized and have been enjoying every second of my writing. I envision a future lead by my stories. I finally admitted to myself what always wanted to be: a writer! A published author! I realized I have a pretty poignant, interesting, and significant story as it pertains to childhood, addiction, relationships and love. So off I go with that. I haven't opened a single gift guide, I'm to busy writing! xxoo
Thank you, Kristen! I’m so glad to hear about the momentum on your memoir! It’s such a good feeling to be immersed in a project, particularly when it’s a meaningful one. Excited to hear how it progresses. xx
Thank you for this. 💙
Thanks Kris 💙
Thank you for the card of the week. I drew Two of Wands yesterday for myself and appreciated your take on the message. 🪄🪄
Thanks, Khiri! Love the synchronicity.
“The March of the Merch” is a great line! Like, “The March of the Wooden Soldiers”, only with Prada and Rag & Bone 👗 👠 🧥 so funny, I have six catalogs sitting on my table right now, I’m gonna chuck them. Thank you, Caroline, you’ve done a publish service tonight! 😉❤️
*public 😂
Thank you, Jolene! (Just tossed a few catalogs here, too. But not before flipping through them. 😬)
I peeked at mine, too 🫣(but then threw out:)
I so feel this. 💥 I don't look at/read gift guides unless there is a comedic spin.😍
Sometimes we need a little bump of magic in our lives to carry us to the other side and sometimes that magic looks like $50 paperweight. Loved that part!