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Jane Ratcliffe's avatar

The Velveteen Rabbit completely fucked me up. As did a couple other books. I still absolutely know that all stuffed animals are alive, including dog toys, which can never be lying on their sweet faces or they will suffocate. Likewise, I can't wrap stuffed animals as presents because they will suffocate. I could go on. The list is long.

I love this post. I felt like I went on a road trip with you. A road trip I really needed! I look forward to the risky writing yet to come!

Also: I hope the doctor visit was routine?

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Oh, this is one of my favorite comments ever. It's such beautiful evidence of your warm and tender heart. Also, "The Velveteen Rabbit Fucked Me Up" would be a fantastic title for something. Do you ever apologize to the face-down stuffed animals? I don't... (Out loud. Anymore.😬) I'm so glad I'm not alone in this!

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Jane Ratcliffe's avatar

I'm laughing out loud! I apologize all the time. All. The. Time. This is truly A Thing in my life! I've only just touched on it here. You are not alone!! No wonder we're friends!! And that's an excellent title for an essay! 😻

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Kate Eskuri, DNP's avatar

Oh, WOW. “Writing for your audience is a bit like trying to read the room when no one has arrived yet. You cannot predict what will strike someone, nor how it will move them. But that is not your responsibility.”

So, so good, Caroline. Thank you for sharing *your* words & letting them land uniquely with *me* ✨

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Bethany Bell's avatar

I loved the room-reading sentence, too.

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you, Kate. So glad to hear it resonated with you!

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Dr. Louise Schriewer's avatar

I loved it as well! Have never described the sentiment of writing for one's audience so accurately.

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Page Huyette's avatar

Just today I was ruminating to myself how hard it can be to sell a house sometimes. It's actually similar to how you described a book having a soul. On the outside it looks transactional: person finds property that suits their budget and needs, person buys house. But it's often so much more than that. When I'm the agent charged with selling the house, there are times when it hurts to let go. Some homes have a soul, a heartbeat I can feel when I spend time there, especially when I know the person well or have gotten to know them quickly so we can work through the change together. My protective mom persona takes over, and I feel like I need to be the one to make sure the house is honored and cared for appropriately. But that's not really the job, is it?

That happened to me again today. I've spent the last month plus working to clear out a home where the owner has died, who I sold the home to a few years ago. The grief of the survivors, the things left behind that tell the story of a life: ticket stubs, dog collars, boxes of important research. I feel honored to be a part of the process, but sometimes it's too much for my tiny heart and I wonder if I'm better suited for other work.

I've also been feeling the pull to go deeper, get more personal in the writing I put out here each week. Your writing has given me some ideas for the path forward. Thank you.

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

I love this comment. And I agree with you; homes definitely have souls. Even from the outside, the windows and doors can sometimes converge in ways that resemble a face. Inside, so many objects, relics, choices...the way things are arranged or left or discarded...all of it with its own energy and story. And the memories that seem to linger even once the occupants are gone. I'm glad you're feeling the pull to go deeper and have ideas for the way forward. It's clear just from what you've shared here that you have a wonderfully soulful way of observing the world. I'm excited to see what you write.

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Victoria's avatar

I have highlighted and saved so many of your writings. There are many passages that really speak to me. And some day, when the opportunity arises, I will quote them back to you 😃

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

This means so much. Thank you.

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Martha's avatar

Welcome to Gnocchi. What a love.

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you. ❤️

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Israel Sanchez's avatar

"Write what you know" has always felt backwards to me as well. Like you said, it is in writing that we explore, that we get to discover new worlds, and often those worlds are within ourselves. As always, it's lovely to read your words and with much food for thought.

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Page Huyette's avatar

How about "write to figure out what you know?"

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Sandra Ann Miller's avatar

I have broken all the rules. I will likely never learn. And it's always the piece I thought was a throw-away that will get the best response. (Is it a group collective of sympathy because it is actually crap, or did they like it? They really liked it?) Also, I do believe most things have a soul(ish). I mean, we are all made up of the same stuff, so why not? Right? LOL. Congrats on Gnocchi, Caroline. Have a lovely week. Stay warm. xo

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Why is this always the case?? Things dashed off in a hurry get a great response and pieces I labor over for days (and days) are met with a resounding meh. I do wonder if maybe not-fully-baked work is actually more true or relatable in some way. Or the universe is randomness and chaos. Probably both. Have a good week! xo

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Sandra Ann Miller's avatar

I believe it's how Milli Vanilli got to be a sensation. It's truly inexplicable, and I'm not sure I want to know that dark magic. LOL. Have a good week, too (thankfully, it's short)! xo

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Cathryn's avatar

I’m so glad you have a dog again, Caroline!! I lost my mom 6 years ago. The only helpful thing besides the passage of time was to get a dog. When I knew you were without both your dog and mom within months, I was so worried!! My pup Henrietta and I send you and Gnocchi so much love!! (Thankfully Hen eventually lost her voracious appetite for the written word!!)

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you (and to Henrietta, too)! Adopting Gnocchi was easily the best decision we've made. They really are the most wonderful companions, with the ability to shift the energy of a whole day or household in moments. There is nothing like it!

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Meg Wardle's avatar

Welcome, Gnocchi! 💛 how gorgeous.

As someone who does a lot of filtering, this was such a helpful read.

Also, I have similar feelings from the Velveteen Rabbit! And agreed, books definitely have souls ☺️

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you! 💛 (Gnocchi says thank you, too.)

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Love this. Especially the piece about letting go of our words once they're out in the world and recognising we can't control what happens to them ❤️ So true of so many things! And I love the title of this piece, which drew me straight in, even though I hadn't come across your writing before 😊

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Skyla's avatar

The whole "You cannot predict what will strike someone, nor how it will move them" part is so true.

I love seeing different perspectives on the same book, film, series, what-have-you, because everybody gets something different from the same thing. We might all get the general message of something, but we all have personal experiences that lead us to unique takes. This was such a nice read!

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Amanda Mo's avatar

If a written work is imbued with the essence of its creator, your essence is so lovely and flowy and soulful! I really enjoy reading your posts!!

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you so much, Amanda!

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Leonard Morton's avatar

Some phantoms are worth keeping around.

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Gabrielle Brown's avatar

Ahhhhhhh...some of the best words I have ever read about rest (and I wrote a book about it...) 🙏🙏🙏

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you! (That means a lot!)

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Aliza Sir's avatar

Beautiful and relatable reflection! Thank you so much for sharing.

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you, Aliza!

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Jenovia 🕸️'s avatar

Congrats on Gnocchi!!! What a beauty. ❤️ Also YAY for getting personal and experimental! 😍 Can't wait.

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Jenovia 🕸️'s avatar

more* personal. I'm sick, please don't hold my wonky brain against me. lol

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