29 Comments
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Julie G.'s avatar

Please continue to write such beautiful newsletters, they are always relevant, touching and funny. This one will stay with me for a long time : « Like trying to negotiate with a grizzly bear »

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Angela Robertson's avatar

Just another imposter over here wondering if maybe the true imposter is actually the incorrect assumption that perfection is the norm. Maybe the ideal we're all striving for isn't actually real. Maybe, just maybe, our perceived imperfections are what makes us truly beautiful.

Or maybe I've just had a little too much coffee today.

P.S. Please don't ever not click 'send' on your newsletters.

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Wesley Verhoeve's avatar

My favorite letter yet? Yes, my favorite yet.

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Christina's avatar

Thank you for reposting this newsletter. They were just the words I needed to read this week.

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Cait's avatar

I’m so glad you shared this older essay! I haven’t made it through the entire BRCP (is this a sanctioned acronym?? 🧐) back catalog, but found the message today to be so timely, per usual. How is it that your writing can seem so specific and so universal simultaneously? Regardless, loved today’s essay and the dose of De Niro 💕

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you, Cait!

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Shinjini's avatar

“You cannot possibly be an imposter at being yourself.” YES! This is probably going to make it into my art journal!

And also, this week’s reading felt like it was written just for me, so thank you for this!!

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Grant Wamack's avatar

I love your interpretation of the Queen of Wands. Lifted my spirits.

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you! I’m very glad to hear it.

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POETIQUETTE's avatar

Freaking amazing in every way ! I’m a newbie on Substack and I’ve been freaking the fuck out over analyzing EVerything . I don’t know why I can’t just post !! Thank you for sharing this !!

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you! And welcome! I know that feeling well. Posting gets easier with time... sort of. :)

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Lindsey Melden's avatar

Beautiful. I suffer in the same ways. Especially reading others beautiful work. My questions, unlike the Queen of wands, becomes why bother?! But I love your Queen questions: what if...why not? 🩷

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you, Lindsey. ❤️

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🥰 Rusty's avatar

I remember this post. In fact, I saved the page.

I remember the "wegrow". I snapped it on my phone, to remind me of the power of tjose words.

This post moved me then, yet maybe it m9ved me even more, now?

"... I wish humans had tails—some outward barometer of the feelings that lie hidden within us."

Imagine if a narcissist had a tail (other than a forked one, to match the tongue).

They couldn't possibly cause as much harm. Their secret would be 'out'. Despite the smile and performative grace, the tail would show the truth and shout "Red flag! Red flag!" to passers-by and potential victims. I wish.

Caroline, your writing moves me. It makes a certain itch, itch more. This is good. It calls me to be my authentic self and to take on the challenges, the hard stuff and the quiet dreams speak more loudly.

Thank you. I appreciate your efforts, your words and your being.💓

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you, Rusty. I love that you remember this post. I love that you’ve been reading from the beginning. And of course, I love the wonderful stories, thoughts, and insights you share here! Always appreciate you.

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🥰 Rusty's avatar

Your musings are kindred-spirited.

I love it when I'm inspired to think outside the box and you do this.

🥰

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Mary Grace Granados's avatar

Love this, Caroline. I'm sitting here trying to pen my own newsletter — and I always ask that same question of my husband each week when I write mine out "is it good?" or "is it relevant" — and this was a perfect nudge to just write.

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you.

Last weekend I saw the movie “You Hurt My Feelings,” about an author whose husband tells her he loves her new book...but then she overhears him saying he didn’t like it. It introduced a whole new level of second guessing — even if he says my newsletter is relevant, what if he doesn’t mean it?? The answer, as you say, is to just write.

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Jennifer's avatar

From "somewhat successfully impersonating an adult human" to "you cannot possibly be an imposter at being yourself, and then sprinkle a dose of Queen of Wands energy on top - I loved this! Thank you Caroline. P.S I've been saving up some of your letters to save when the time was right - and today was exactly they right time.

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Cynthia Girardin's avatar

"This confirms it, I think. I cannot write. My sentences will never come out this way. What is the point? Who am I to try?" - me, everyday, on Substack. (Or every time I convince myself I must finish writing my book of essays) 🙈 Jokes aside, this piece was just incredible.

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Maggie Sheldon's avatar

Loved this piece. It’s so generous to give of yourself clearly and honestly, even when the self-doubt tells you otherwise. Thank you for the needed reminder. I look forward to reading your letter every week.

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you, Maggie! I very much appreciate it and am glad you’re reading.

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Gina Hogan Edwards's avatar

Just as I'm writing about being DONE with imposter syndrome and perfectionism and wanting to believe that deep into my core, this was shared with me by a writer friend (@KimBoo York). What I needed when I needed it (and I think she did, too). Thank you.

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Sally Jupe's avatar

As always Caroline, all so very thought provoking. 🤔 And as a newbie struggling to get going, just like the story you’ve told here, thank you for re-sharing - it was exactly what I needed. My daughter has always laughed at me whenever I said I wished I had a tail 🐈‍⬛🙀😸

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