Happy birthday to you!! I appreciate the points you make here and your way of framing it. Here’s to the dawn of a new cycle. Thank you, Apostolis! Waving from New York.
As someone who just had a tarot reading for the first time in my life and loved it, I especially appreciated this piece of wisdom: "the tarot is not about fortunetelling, nor is it about neat, definitive answers. The cards are simply one path to reflection, a way of better knowing ourselves and others through universal themes." Re: the Four of Swords and the idea of rest as productive, you must check out Alex Pang's brilliant book REST: WHY YOU GET MORE DONE WHEN YOU WORK LESS (https://bookshop.org/a/87366/9781541617162). It has changed my relationship with rest, and I'm a better (and, dare I say, more productive) person for it.
Wise words, Caroline. You are writing the essays, thinking the thoughts, and asking the questions that lead to increasing self-awareness, which I'm discovering is a wonderful gift to give yourself.
What a perfect essay to read the day after my birthday, a birthday, which, to be honest, I have been struggling with. I have never worried about age, but it stung a little this year. I am now reframing it as a midlife courage, not a crisis. I am thinking a lot about what my productivity is for, what footprints I want to leave, and where. In the most recent episode of Wiser than Me, Sally Field rails against the shame women are taught to feel over again. Aging, is, indeed, living, and this year I am going to look closer at what that living looks like. And to honour rest as a fertile place. Thank you, as always, Caroline for your perspective.
Happy belated birthday, dear Sam. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and truth, here and in so many ways. Sending you warm wishes for the year ahead. May it be magic.
Happy birthday, Caroline! I hope you truly enjoy it. I turn 55 next week and, let me tell you, much of that angst starts to fall away (espesh around 50). The whole running out of fux is a real thing. And it's a good thing. We naturally come to a point where we realize what's worth worrying about (not much, as it turns out) and what's not (most things). I've stopped focusing on all that I haven't done/achieved, and don't even care much about what I will/might achieve because it's just about the doing of things. Learning to be in the moment and not paying much mind to any drama that wants to present itself. A great sense of humor is our best accessory. And, I'll be honest: My 40th birthday sucked in a way I could not have imagined (the financial collapse caught up with me right after I mailed my rent check...fun!). I had a do-over party at 41. It was fab. It also taught me that milestones are nice and also bullsh!t. We get to decide what's worth celebrating and when to do it. I had a goal of being able to do Scorpion pose by the time I was 50. LOL. Maybe before I'm 60. The important thing is to remember to celebrate yourself on the regular. Because what you do is special. Who you are is wonderful. And life is just going to be lifey. We have to be as content as we can as we continue this journey. xo
I had your post pulled up on my computer to read last night, but got distracted by some shiny object or another and hadn't finished it yet. This morning I sat down to read the things I still had on my desktop and to get to work on some writing, and noticed your card for the collective is the same as the one I mentioned in my poem.
As one a bit past mid-life, I offer my cheers to you on yours. May your days be graced with one adventure of Midlife Courage after another.
“I’d rather be resonant” — that’s all I want from someone else’s writing. If it resonates with me, it has connected. I love nothing more than minds connecting over time and space!
You are an absolutely beautiful writer. I gain so much from reading your essays. Thank you your honesty and wise words. They truly mean something to me.
The perfect themes to be reflecting on around a birthday, with so many beautiful nuggets of wisdom. Loved this — and I looove Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ Wiser Than Me podcast too ☺️
I've completed baby yoga training, and always feel I should be doing more with it than I currently do. Nice to know I'm not in the minority in terms of learning to teach a form of yoga and then not using it all that much 😂
I like your idea of saying 'live' rather than age. I find I worry about how old I am less with every year. I had such urgency in my 20s and very much the attitude of "if I can't do it now then I'll never do it/what's the point". These days, I have a vague idea of what I want to do with my future, but I've set no time limits for myself, and am happier for it
Had my 43rd birthday two days ago.
I would say that one's true-to-self life actually, most of the times, starts after the 4th period/~roughly decade, of walking on this planet.
The reasoning is rather simple.
The first two decades we are under our parents' wings and shelter. More or less we are learning and follow their lead.
Entering our 3rd period or season, we go out into the world to live on our own. We generally try to do what we are 'supposed' to.
But, it's somewhat of an one-off shot. No reference points or previous experiences. This has both its pros and cons.
Then, towards the end of our 4th season, (two periods after the beginnings of our 20s) we finally have enough 'data' to compare against.
Data about our own existence that is.
Until then, we mostly compare ourselves with 'the person next door.'
It's not a midlife crisis... 🙂
It's the dawn of a new cycle.
Now, how we 'do' this new cycle, is something we have to figure out on our own.
There's no right or wrong answer to this, but we do need to take ownership of it.
Thank you for this nicely written article Caroline!
Greetings from Greece!
Happy birthday to you!! I appreciate the points you make here and your way of framing it. Here’s to the dawn of a new cycle. Thank you, Apostolis! Waving from New York.
🙏🤲🖖
I wish I was a talented with words as you, so I could truly express how much I love your writing. Thank you Caroline.
Thank you, Lynda. That means a lot ❤️
As someone who just had a tarot reading for the first time in my life and loved it, I especially appreciated this piece of wisdom: "the tarot is not about fortunetelling, nor is it about neat, definitive answers. The cards are simply one path to reflection, a way of better knowing ourselves and others through universal themes." Re: the Four of Swords and the idea of rest as productive, you must check out Alex Pang's brilliant book REST: WHY YOU GET MORE DONE WHEN YOU WORK LESS (https://bookshop.org/a/87366/9781541617162). It has changed my relationship with rest, and I'm a better (and, dare I say, more productive) person for it.
Wise words, Caroline. You are writing the essays, thinking the thoughts, and asking the questions that lead to increasing self-awareness, which I'm discovering is a wonderful gift to give yourself.
Thank you so much, David.
What a perfect essay to read the day after my birthday, a birthday, which, to be honest, I have been struggling with. I have never worried about age, but it stung a little this year. I am now reframing it as a midlife courage, not a crisis. I am thinking a lot about what my productivity is for, what footprints I want to leave, and where. In the most recent episode of Wiser than Me, Sally Field rails against the shame women are taught to feel over again. Aging, is, indeed, living, and this year I am going to look closer at what that living looks like. And to honour rest as a fertile place. Thank you, as always, Caroline for your perspective.
Happy belated birthday, dear Sam. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and truth, here and in so many ways. Sending you warm wishes for the year ahead. May it be magic.
Thank you Caroline xx
Stumbled upon this post and absolutely loved your redefinition of these loaded terms. Delightful writing. Can't wait to read more of your work!
Thank you so much, Paula. Very glad you found it!
Happy birthday, Caroline! I hope you truly enjoy it. I turn 55 next week and, let me tell you, much of that angst starts to fall away (espesh around 50). The whole running out of fux is a real thing. And it's a good thing. We naturally come to a point where we realize what's worth worrying about (not much, as it turns out) and what's not (most things). I've stopped focusing on all that I haven't done/achieved, and don't even care much about what I will/might achieve because it's just about the doing of things. Learning to be in the moment and not paying much mind to any drama that wants to present itself. A great sense of humor is our best accessory. And, I'll be honest: My 40th birthday sucked in a way I could not have imagined (the financial collapse caught up with me right after I mailed my rent check...fun!). I had a do-over party at 41. It was fab. It also taught me that milestones are nice and also bullsh!t. We get to decide what's worth celebrating and when to do it. I had a goal of being able to do Scorpion pose by the time I was 50. LOL. Maybe before I'm 60. The important thing is to remember to celebrate yourself on the regular. Because what you do is special. Who you are is wonderful. And life is just going to be lifey. We have to be as content as we can as we continue this journey. xo
Oddly enough, last Tuesday, I scheduled a poem to go out this morning, called Four of Swords. https://tkhart.substack.com/p/four-of-swords
I had your post pulled up on my computer to read last night, but got distracted by some shiny object or another and hadn't finished it yet. This morning I sat down to read the things I still had on my desktop and to get to work on some writing, and noticed your card for the collective is the same as the one I mentioned in my poem.
As one a bit past mid-life, I offer my cheers to you on yours. May your days be graced with one adventure of Midlife Courage after another.
What a lovely bit of synchronicity! Thank you so much for sharing, and for the kind wishes. It is very appreciated.
Midlife courage! Yes and yes.
“I’d rather be resonant” — that’s all I want from someone else’s writing. If it resonates with me, it has connected. I love nothing more than minds connecting over time and space!
You are an absolutely beautiful writer. I gain so much from reading your essays. Thank you your honesty and wise words. They truly mean something to me.
That brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much.
Resting my expectations and my judgements this week. The exact message I needed. Your newsletter continues to be the one I read first each week.
Thank you. That means a lot. ❤️
I love reading your work! Thanks for being.
Thank you so much. ❤️
"I’d rather be like an echo than a pathogen. I’d rather make a difference than a splash. I don’t want to go viral. I’d rather be resonant."
!!!!
The perfect themes to be reflecting on around a birthday, with so many beautiful nuggets of wisdom. Loved this — and I looove Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ Wiser Than Me podcast too ☺️
I've completed baby yoga training, and always feel I should be doing more with it than I currently do. Nice to know I'm not in the minority in terms of learning to teach a form of yoga and then not using it all that much 😂
I like your idea of saying 'live' rather than age. I find I worry about how old I am less with every year. I had such urgency in my 20s and very much the attitude of "if I can't do it now then I'll never do it/what's the point". These days, I have a vague idea of what I want to do with my future, but I've set no time limits for myself, and am happier for it
Great writing, as ever