45 Comments

This is my favorite one yet. I’m 35 and feeling stuck lately. Not sure what’s next for me, but it was reassuring to read about these lovely women who started new ventures later in life. My husband turned 40 and decided to go back to school to apply to become a veterinarian. It’s never too late to pursue something new.

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Thank you, Katie. I love hearing that your husband decided to pursue becoming a veterinarian! Two of my friends, both in their 40s, recently went back to school. One (quoted here) is studying psychology, and the other is in med school, and I find it so inspiring. I hope that your current feeling of stuckness leads to a wonderful new direction for you. But also, you know, no rush. :)

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Thank you, Caroline. Debuts can happen at any age. Isn't that exciting?

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Yes! When you put it that way, it's like there is always something to look forward to. Thank you, Kathleen

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Thank you for sharing this. As someone who started their motherhood journey at an "advanced maternal age," I very much needed this reminder. I love the party-phrasing, but a pitch for the "late bloomer" term - while it taken a negative connotation in our modern culture, within a species of flowering plants, certain varieties will bloom earlier and later, which helps prolong the generosity of the season for beauty, pollen, nectar, and food.

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This is an excellent point! And also a case for those rare bloomers, who come out in their own specific, limited timeframes, but put on quite a show.

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Preaching to my soul per usual. Also, never forget Morgan Freeman!! whose breakout role at 50 also scored him an academy award nom! Where exactly would the world be without his freckles and narration?

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Morgan! I didn't know he was 50 when he got his break. Sometimes I imagine he's narrating my life, and it makes everything sound so much better.

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Love this (per usual) — the phrase you use is just right and I’m going to keep it in mind next time I’m hard on myself about my “progress” in life. In the same vein of arriving late to the party, when that inner critic chimes in and tries to tell me I’m falling behind, I always ask myself, “says who?” — as in, whose opinion am I taking into account when scrutinizing my life’s timeline? Often times, I’ll find someone else’s voice disguised as my inner critic, telling me it’s time for something, the clock is ticking. Time to get married, time to have kids, time to buy a house, time to [fill in the blank]. While I’ve listened to that voice many times and don’t regret it, I’m much more cognizant of it now and plan to think about my arrival time more carefully ;)

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Such a good point, I completely agree. I was just discussing this with a friend — how so many people we know have taken steps because they felt like they were "supposed" to do something, because it was "time" or because it's "what came next," and then after further reflection, discovered it wasn't at all what felt right for them. And how so many things naturally take longer than we anticipate they will, but can make you appreciate your eventual arrival so much more.

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This is majestic

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Thank you ❤️

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I love the thesis of this piece - arrive whenever you want. It feels so empowering.

Recently I've seen this Carl Jung quote floating around, maybe you've seen it, too Caroline, "Life really does begin at 40. Up until then, you are just doing research."

I wrote the first draft of my memoir at 37 and as time passes, and I gain more knowledge and grow as a person, I'm noticing how my voice can improve and how my writing can grow. It feels very enriching. And thinking about my forties and fifties, it leaves me with the same feeling!

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Annie Proulx giving me a little life: “I didn’t start writing until I was 58,” she said. “So if you’ve been thinking about it and putting it off, go ahead.”

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I love this! Thank you for sharing.

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Thank you - I loved and very much needed this today.

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Hi Caroline, I came across this and have inspired to write something similar to this. I'm 23 and is lost AF and felt like I'm living through the motion - grateful to have found your article at the right time. Life's not a race, it's a party. I'll try to remind myself over and over again. Thank you<3 (PS will try to tag you if I wrote something inspired by this article). All the love!

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I left a fledgling career in the newspaper industry to be an at-home mom more than 12 years ago. I’ve always wanted to write, and have continued to do so in fits and starts over these past years, but I also discovered an aptitude and passion I did not expect: nursing.

Because I left my job, I was available to help give my mother-in-law end of life care—and I made a one-episode podcast about her in a grad class before podcasts were a thing; not only was the assignment important for reflection, it gave me an excuse to take a recorder to some of her chemo sessions. I forever have her telling her story in her own voice.

I’ve been taking the science prerecs I didn’t need for my BA, and in a year and a half, when my youngest goes to kindergarten, I’ll be going to nursing school. By the time I graduate, I’ll be 40.

My 20s and even early 30s were fraught with a need to discover meaning for myself. I got that, and more. I wasn’t an irresponsible 20something by any means, but you can’t settle into your life until you’ve lived it as an adult for awhile.

I LOVE this list of amazing elders who’ve come before. Strengthens my resolve and also my belief that none of my life has been “wasted.”

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Erin, I love this comment so much. When I first read it yesterday it brought tears to my eyes for many reasons. Not the least of which is that nurses are actual angels on earth and I can already feel how many people will be better off because of your care. (Not to mention the care you provided for your mother-in-law and for your children.) I am so glad you uncovered that unexpected passion and a path to pursue it. Our elders may teach us that time is never "wasted," but from reading your story, I think it's safe to say that it certainly wasn't. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤️

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Well now YOU’RE bringing tears to MY eyes! We have to stop meeting like this. 😂😭

Thanks for your kind response. It means a lot—also it’s great to find your substack! I was always a fan of your Cup of Jo pieces.

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Thank you!! I'm so glad you found it.

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Just, bravo, Caroline. That's all I can say because I'm still digesting your precious words.

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Thank you, Aileen. ❤️

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Fuck yes for activating, discovering and rediscovering your unique magic at any age, exactly as it wants to unfold at that point in time! Thanks for this post.

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Thank you so much for this article, it really hit a tender place. And it makes me feel seen, encouraged and definitely not alone.

And the oracle was quite at the right moment for me.

Thanks for your beautiful thoughtful words, as always, but specially for those.

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Thank you, Valérie, for these kind words. I'm so happy to hear that this found you at the right time. Thanks for reading, and for sharing your experience. I really appreciate it.

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Thank you for another wonderful piece! I too have looked at people doing more incredible stuff in their twenties than I ever could have done, which at times has left me slightly regretful. But at the same time I don't really feel bad, because I'm happy with what I did accomplish, and there's so much more to come! It's such a limited way of thinking.

Have a great week, and sending many well wishes for your dog.

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Thank you, Maddy. Mia (the dog) and I appreciate it. ❤️ And I feel the same way, when you think about it, age seems like such an arbitrary benchmark! We all learn in different ways and have distinct ways of looking at things. Why wouldn't the rest of our lives unfold differently, too?

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Thank you so much for this letter. It's been comforting, warm, and so, so true. Sadly, we need to be reminded about this more often than it should be necessary.

I've finished Monday reading this (it's Monday night here in Spain), and it's been the perfect end to the first day of the week. Now I'm facing the rest of the week in a completely different way.

Thanks again!

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Marta, I am so very happy to hear this. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you a wonderful rest of the week!

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