As I turn 66 at the end of the month, I was pondering ‘the being liked’ thing, or not, in my case, only last week after a neighbour who lives opposite me ‘appeared’ to totally snub me as we came towards each other, leaving me with an opened mouthed ‘hello’. I can remember being 6 and this happening at first school. Then it just seemed to build and build and build over the years. And it’s still here. That gut wrenching feeling of not being liked when you think you deserve to be as you know you are a nice person and assume quite likeable. A ‘friend’ told me 3 months ago that no one here liked me. It was like the universe told him my story as I had not. Now I know why some people we knew mutually are snubbing me. He wasn’t my ‘friend’. Just someone who ‘liked’ me until he decided not to. When will I ever learn. Thanks for this Caroline.
Thank you for this Caroline. My life is going to drastically change in the next two weeks, as I am headed back home after the past year of living/ working abroad. While I am so excited to see my loved ones, I am also met with this deep anxiety from knowing that all of them will ask me the question I am dreading most: “what’s next?” I don’t know what is next. This card reading reminded me that I can take my time to figure it out. That I don’t have to jump into something that doesn’t feel right just for the sake of having a plan. That I can find something that excites me and motivates me in order to create the most passion in my life.
Thank you Caroline for such a relatable post. I was a people pleaser most of my life but now that I am older I don't give a s*** about who likes me. It's a waste of time and energy. I am me and if people like me, great, if not it's ok too. In all honesty, I would prefer for people to like me but I am not devastated and it doesn't affect my self-esteem and self-confidence like it used to.
When I go to the DMV I desperately want them to like me. Convinced if they do, I might have a pleasurable experience there. Hasn’t happened yet. I felt this post - sometimes I go out my way and contort myself to be nice and to receive mean in return can sometimes feel a little soul crushing.
Thanks for writing this, it’s so relatable. I always get hung up on whether or not someone likes me. And tend to fixate on—real or imagined— slights. But once in a while it occurs to me to ask myself if I like them! Which, especially when the answer is “no,” feels almost too audacious to be allowed.
Thank you! ❤️ I think it comes with the territory! The number of too-cool baristas (and hairstylists) I’ve tried to impress over the years is…not small.
I had to be away for a bit...within about 3 mins I was uh-huhing and LOLing. For now, that is a definite like. Not at all surprised by the card. Unhurried mindful purpose. Uh-huh. Play, create, let curiosity feed your resilience. You know, that authentic likeable you...excellent repost.
I loved this old/new sort of parable! In a dizzying world of complicated life stories, we are cautioned to be careful about judging others we meet “ on the street”, lest their struggles be monumental.
I often wear a favorite bright red t-shirt with white lettering that can be credited for being my mantra of sorts…
“BE A KIND HUMAN”
It appears your barista friend has fulfilled that full circle of human-ing.
Thanks for doing it again, Caroline! Perhaps this is finding me at just the right time! I'm heading back to work this morning after a week off and my constant struggle is wanting to be liked. This week, I'm figuring out my cheese in the job, and seeking my reward. Thank you!
"We’re like little chemistry experiments, reacting everywhere we go." I'm going to start using this as a reframe when I'm #TRIGGERED. UH OH, I'M BEING A CHEMISTRY EXPERIMENT RIGHT NOW.
Maybe mean barista read your original post and realised he was being mean? I have a similar situation with the man that runs the local play centre, for a couple of years he was very moody (not mean, but not approachable) then one day he suddenly became very animated with me. He's moody again after I didn't go in for a while, but I'm working on rebuilding the rapport 😂
You made me recall fondly my friendly barista story:
On my first order from the barista, he got my name confused, called me James. I ddi not correct him because he'd moved on to the next customer.
He was so friendly he remembered me as James the next day and the next and so on. It became too late to correct him so I never did. So for a few minutes each weekday morning at the Starbucks on 75ht and Broadway, I had a different name. .
Not long til that barista is a subscriber!!
Hahaha. And once he appears in a guest post, the circle shall be complete!
This thread made me laugh so hard 😂
As I turn 66 at the end of the month, I was pondering ‘the being liked’ thing, or not, in my case, only last week after a neighbour who lives opposite me ‘appeared’ to totally snub me as we came towards each other, leaving me with an opened mouthed ‘hello’. I can remember being 6 and this happening at first school. Then it just seemed to build and build and build over the years. And it’s still here. That gut wrenching feeling of not being liked when you think you deserve to be as you know you are a nice person and assume quite likeable. A ‘friend’ told me 3 months ago that no one here liked me. It was like the universe told him my story as I had not. Now I know why some people we knew mutually are snubbing me. He wasn’t my ‘friend’. Just someone who ‘liked’ me until he decided not to. When will I ever learn. Thanks for this Caroline.
Thank you for this Caroline. My life is going to drastically change in the next two weeks, as I am headed back home after the past year of living/ working abroad. While I am so excited to see my loved ones, I am also met with this deep anxiety from knowing that all of them will ask me the question I am dreading most: “what’s next?” I don’t know what is next. This card reading reminded me that I can take my time to figure it out. That I don’t have to jump into something that doesn’t feel right just for the sake of having a plan. That I can find something that excites me and motivates me in order to create the most passion in my life.
Thank you Caroline for such a relatable post. I was a people pleaser most of my life but now that I am older I don't give a s*** about who likes me. It's a waste of time and energy. I am me and if people like me, great, if not it's ok too. In all honesty, I would prefer for people to like me but I am not devastated and it doesn't affect my self-esteem and self-confidence like it used to.
When I go to the DMV I desperately want them to like me. Convinced if they do, I might have a pleasurable experience there. Hasn’t happened yet. I felt this post - sometimes I go out my way and contort myself to be nice and to receive mean in return can sometimes feel a little soul crushing.
“I’m going to write about this!” I say, through a mouthful of banana bread, which is more than worth the side of attitude it came with.
Oh Caroline you always crack me up!!!! 🍌
Thanks for writing this, it’s so relatable. I always get hung up on whether or not someone likes me. And tend to fixate on—real or imagined— slights. But once in a while it occurs to me to ask myself if I like them! Which, especially when the answer is “no,” feels almost too audacious to be allowed.
I more than like this! And I too know a cranky barista—one I'm trying impress 🙄
Thank you! ❤️ I think it comes with the territory! The number of too-cool baristas (and hairstylists) I’ve tried to impress over the years is…not small.
I had to be away for a bit...within about 3 mins I was uh-huhing and LOLing. For now, that is a definite like. Not at all surprised by the card. Unhurried mindful purpose. Uh-huh. Play, create, let curiosity feed your resilience. You know, that authentic likeable you...excellent repost.
I loved this old/new sort of parable! In a dizzying world of complicated life stories, we are cautioned to be careful about judging others we meet “ on the street”, lest their struggles be monumental.
I often wear a favorite bright red t-shirt with white lettering that can be credited for being my mantra of sorts…
“BE A KIND HUMAN”
It appears your barista friend has fulfilled that full circle of human-ing.
Thanks for doing it again, Caroline! Perhaps this is finding me at just the right time! I'm heading back to work this morning after a week off and my constant struggle is wanting to be liked. This week, I'm figuring out my cheese in the job, and seeking my reward. Thank you!
"We’re like little chemistry experiments, reacting everywhere we go." I'm going to start using this as a reframe when I'm #TRIGGERED. UH OH, I'M BEING A CHEMISTRY EXPERIMENT RIGHT NOW.
I SO agree with your thoughts on the word "like"... but I really love this book/poem: https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-like-you-sandol-stoddard-warburg/11269073?ean=9780395071762&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw5ea1BhC6ARIsAEOG5pz1LumiPKOK0t2kza1zD7FQelqAa6N5MVjzintjfWzpVcniYtsig0MaAkP1EALw_wcB.
You can read it here: https://www.rockmywedding.co.uk/4316/5331/6408/I_Like_You.pdf
Maybe mean barista read your original post and realised he was being mean? I have a similar situation with the man that runs the local play centre, for a couple of years he was very moody (not mean, but not approachable) then one day he suddenly became very animated with me. He's moody again after I didn't go in for a while, but I'm working on rebuilding the rapport 😂
You made me recall fondly my friendly barista story:
On my first order from the barista, he got my name confused, called me James. I ddi not correct him because he'd moved on to the next customer.
He was so friendly he remembered me as James the next day and the next and so on. It became too late to correct him so I never did. So for a few minutes each weekday morning at the Starbucks on 75ht and Broadway, I had a different name. .
I have to say that I like this post 😃
Thank you, Israel!
Thank you for this. I really needed that Knight.
❤️