I've been submitting poetry to literary magazines, and am 5/5 on rejections. I mentally prepared for this, having heard from fellow unpublished poets that I should be prepared for lots and lots and LOTS of rejections before my first acceptance. I've been celebrating the rejections as proof that I'm putting myself out there. 🎉
Can we rebrand 'rejection' to 'redirection'? Rejection simply means the thing didn't go in the direction you had chosen as your preference, so you take that thing and you redirect it elsewhere...and life goes on.
Hi Caroline! I look forward to reading your newsletters each week. This week’s was so reassuring as I have experienced several job rejections after moving to a new city, and trying to find a new path. Thank you so much for the beautiful words of encouragement. ❤️Have a lovely week!
I second looking to memoirs for understanding! I’ve never felt more understood than when I’m reading the memoirs and letters of writers and artists I admire. They all went through spells (sometimes lifetimes) of feeling rejected or not good enough - it’s the true account of a creative, not some wiki summary of their successes and wins. Understanding this gets me out of the “I’m the only person I know not burning it up professionally” funk a lot faster.
This week's newsletter shot me right through the heart (and you're to blame.) Sorry.
Two thoughts:
1. I'm a leadership program facilitator and I'm annoying about neuroscience. I always share this model that essentially says that our brains have not evolved but the world has. Social threats have replaced the sabertooth tiger threats of our ancestors. Our brains assume that sharing our emotions is like committing social suicide, but the truth is that there's nothing that connects people more than vulnerability AND nothing helps reduce heightened emotional feelings than voicing them. It's a win win!
2. I'm also training to be a coach and it's very woo-woo but we had to identify our "leader within" and find a metaphor for it. I decided my inner leader is a lantern, a cozy light that will help illuminate your strengths within and light the way forward. I am the hermit!!! AND PROUD.
I love this, Patty! All of it. It certainly feels like confronting a sabertooth tiger in certain social situations, but this reframe is immensely helpful. I'm also so curious about your coach training as it's something I've secretly wanted to pursue for some time now. How did you come to this path and to your program? Are you enjoying it? And glad to hear you're the lantern, because the Hermit is THE BEST. Truly. There is no wiser guide.
I have been in the learning and development field for a while now and after a lot of research (asking a lot of well-respected coaches), I came upon CTI (Co-Active Training Institute). I'd recommend taking the Fundamentals workshop - it's transformative. There are 5 levels and then you can go on to get certified if you want. I'd do it even if I wasn't getting certified because they're so fulfilling. By the way you write, I think you'd really enjoy it and be GREAT at it!
First time commenting on here, and I just had to say how much I loved this! Especially the last paragraph from the card reading...that really resonated with me. In light of rejection and success, my mom used to tell me, “When you share your joyous moments, you double your joy. When you share your sorrow, it halves the sorrow.” I always thought that was an interesting way to put it.
I’m sitting with this point you made: that when wrestling with something difficult, there’s much comfort to be gained from reading other people’s stories on the same topic...but that necessitates other people being vulnerable and putting those stories out into the world first.
I’m trying to do more of that myself, and I so appreciate your newsletter for doing the same!
Thank you, Maddie. I find it so ironic that I worry about being vulnerable when other people's vulnerability has helped me time and time again. But so it goes!
I adore this take on rejection. I still get itchy when I see college names on bumper stickers at my kids' school, reminds me of how stressed out I was wondering where I'd end up at 17 (And now they've seemed to start a trend of posting photos of students in their college sweatshirts--mine would just say "college" ha.) I was at a book-ish retreat last weekend and a successful author recounted how a respected editor had reviewed her manuscript and deemed the plot impossible. Her act of sharing this crushing moment felt so empowering to others in the room.
Thanks, Cate. Even just hearing you recount that author's story gave me a moment of comfort. I so appreciate when people share their stories of struggle in addition to their moments of triumph!
The catharsis of having those “rejection parties” sounds quite liberating.
I like how you ended the piece, with a nod to acceptance, to even accept rejection as part of life. I think that’s so true and speaks to our collective human experience.
Thanks for throwing a light on this this topic Caroline. My stomach churned in resonance as I read! It's strange but until you mentioned the backpack I suddenly felt the hefty weight of mine over the years, especially when climbing the corporate ladder. But aging and semi retirement has certainly had it's benefits, and now my backpack has a big hole in the bottom and rejection falls straight through as I've learned that every rejection comes a shiny new choice! As a Virgo, and someone who now relishes time alone, The Hermit card is my soul card and I look at the lantern as a container for my North star, guiding me on.
I've been submitting poetry to literary magazines, and am 5/5 on rejections. I mentally prepared for this, having heard from fellow unpublished poets that I should be prepared for lots and lots and LOTS of rejections before my first acceptance. I've been celebrating the rejections as proof that I'm putting myself out there. 🎉
I love this, Hannah. And I celebrate with you! Thank you for sharing.
Can we rebrand 'rejection' to 'redirection'? Rejection simply means the thing didn't go in the direction you had chosen as your preference, so you take that thing and you redirect it elsewhere...and life goes on.
THIS: "Some truths will only blossom in the quiet stillness of our own company." really resonated with me today. Thank you :)
Hi Caroline! I look forward to reading your newsletters each week. This week’s was so reassuring as I have experienced several job rejections after moving to a new city, and trying to find a new path. Thank you so much for the beautiful words of encouragement. ❤️Have a lovely week!
Thank you so much, Amanda! Wishing you all the best on your new path. Please keep me posted. ❤️
Thank you so much, Caroline! ❤️
I second looking to memoirs for understanding! I’ve never felt more understood than when I’m reading the memoirs and letters of writers and artists I admire. They all went through spells (sometimes lifetimes) of feeling rejected or not good enough - it’s the true account of a creative, not some wiki summary of their successes and wins. Understanding this gets me out of the “I’m the only person I know not burning it up professionally” funk a lot faster.
This week's newsletter shot me right through the heart (and you're to blame.) Sorry.
Two thoughts:
1. I'm a leadership program facilitator and I'm annoying about neuroscience. I always share this model that essentially says that our brains have not evolved but the world has. Social threats have replaced the sabertooth tiger threats of our ancestors. Our brains assume that sharing our emotions is like committing social suicide, but the truth is that there's nothing that connects people more than vulnerability AND nothing helps reduce heightened emotional feelings than voicing them. It's a win win!
2. I'm also training to be a coach and it's very woo-woo but we had to identify our "leader within" and find a metaphor for it. I decided my inner leader is a lantern, a cozy light that will help illuminate your strengths within and light the way forward. I am the hermit!!! AND PROUD.
I love this, Patty! All of it. It certainly feels like confronting a sabertooth tiger in certain social situations, but this reframe is immensely helpful. I'm also so curious about your coach training as it's something I've secretly wanted to pursue for some time now. How did you come to this path and to your program? Are you enjoying it? And glad to hear you're the lantern, because the Hermit is THE BEST. Truly. There is no wiser guide.
I have been in the learning and development field for a while now and after a lot of research (asking a lot of well-respected coaches), I came upon CTI (Co-Active Training Institute). I'd recommend taking the Fundamentals workshop - it's transformative. There are 5 levels and then you can go on to get certified if you want. I'd do it even if I wasn't getting certified because they're so fulfilling. By the way you write, I think you'd really enjoy it and be GREAT at it!
The high-achieving child within me needed to hear that rejection is a part of life. Thank you!
Thank you, Lydia! From one high-achieving child to another. 💛
First time commenting on here, and I just had to say how much I loved this! Especially the last paragraph from the card reading...that really resonated with me. In light of rejection and success, my mom used to tell me, “When you share your joyous moments, you double your joy. When you share your sorrow, it halves the sorrow.” I always thought that was an interesting way to put it.
Thank you, Natalie! I love that sentiment and will remember it going forward.
I’m sitting with this point you made: that when wrestling with something difficult, there’s much comfort to be gained from reading other people’s stories on the same topic...but that necessitates other people being vulnerable and putting those stories out into the world first.
I’m trying to do more of that myself, and I so appreciate your newsletter for doing the same!
Thank you, Maddie. I find it so ironic that I worry about being vulnerable when other people's vulnerability has helped me time and time again. But so it goes!
I adore this take on rejection. I still get itchy when I see college names on bumper stickers at my kids' school, reminds me of how stressed out I was wondering where I'd end up at 17 (And now they've seemed to start a trend of posting photos of students in their college sweatshirts--mine would just say "college" ha.) I was at a book-ish retreat last weekend and a successful author recounted how a respected editor had reviewed her manuscript and deemed the plot impossible. Her act of sharing this crushing moment felt so empowering to others in the room.
Thanks, Cate. Even just hearing you recount that author's story gave me a moment of comfort. I so appreciate when people share their stories of struggle in addition to their moments of triumph!
The catharsis of having those “rejection parties” sounds quite liberating.
I like how you ended the piece, with a nod to acceptance, to even accept rejection as part of life. I think that’s so true and speaks to our collective human experience.
Thank you, Israel. I can think of so many "rejection parties" I wish I'd had... with fellow writers, especially!
looooved this
Thanks for throwing a light on this this topic Caroline. My stomach churned in resonance as I read! It's strange but until you mentioned the backpack I suddenly felt the hefty weight of mine over the years, especially when climbing the corporate ladder. But aging and semi retirement has certainly had it's benefits, and now my backpack has a big hole in the bottom and rejection falls straight through as I've learned that every rejection comes a shiny new choice! As a Virgo, and someone who now relishes time alone, The Hermit card is my soul card and I look at the lantern as a container for my North star, guiding me on.
Love this one! I want to throw a rejection party!
Thank you, Hannah!