I first came across your work years ago through Cup of Jo and was so happy to start following this newsletter a few months back. I’m going through a difficult time and reading your essays and tarot readings each week has been a delightful balm for a weary soul. Thank you for your dedication ~ I’m sure there are many readers just like me who may not comment but whose lives are enhanced weekly by your gift and insights. Xo
Hi Courtney. Sorry to hear things have been difficult lately. Thank you for the kind words. I very much appreciate your note and am so glad you’re reading. x
Ha! I recently rediscovered that same toxic Birthday book hidden away on a shelf in my home. Reading this post felt like kismet—I've been having the same thoughts; wondering if everyone is having a better time; thinking about Issa Rae and Nora Ephron, too.
Comparison is the death of joy—but maybe it can be the birth of something new.
Hello Caroline, I stumbled upon your newsletter a few months ago when I promised myself that I would write here more frequently too. I’ve struggled with being a writer, or even showing up for my craft and sometimes I think I spend too long just moping about my lack of success. How do you keep showing up for your work here, week after week? Don’t you feel demotivated and indifferent towards it sometimes?
Hi Akanksha, This is an excellent question. I don't have a simple answer, but I'll do my best.
Yes, I feel unmotivated and apathetic about my writing at least fifty percent of the time. Some months I'm into it, others, not so much. If I get right down to it, though, these feelings are usually not about the writing itself. Often it's because I doubt my own worthiness, or because I see someone else who seems to have an easier/better/more successful time.
I've been dedicated to showing up here, every week, because I was fortunate to have some readers from the beginning and that helped me feel accountable to the cadence I'd promised. But long before this newsletter, there were various blogs and other projects I launched and abandoned, for years. The internet is littered with the detritus of my inconsistency. But I've gotten better with time.
I took a look at your newsletter and notice that you say an aim of your writing is to help people feel less alone. That's a wonderful why. And that's a big part of what helps keep me motivated, too. Whenever I don't feel like showing up, I think of all the writers whose words made a difference to me over the years—in advice columns and interviews and personal essays and memoirs and novels. And I think that if something I share has the power to make just one person's week better, it'll be worth it. (Often, after I've actually written, it makes my week better, too.)
I hope this helps. I'm happy you're reading and even happier that you're writing. Keep going.
Hello! A couple of uncanny things that jumped out as I read your work for the first time today: At 15 my dream job was to come up with names for nail polish (I became a teacher instead but do always pick my mani/pedi colors 50% based on name).
Also, I too have moved the massive Secret Language of Birthdays multiple places in the last ~30 years, though I love it; I used it to pick my kids’ birthdates (generally for my son as he was 2 weeks early but on the dot for my daughter’s scheduled C-section - I even got to tell John Cusack he was part of the reason for my choice of June 28...speaking of celebrity encounters).
And today is a new moon so that might explain some weirdness & unmooring.
So, thank you for sharing this excellent writing. Have a marvelous week ♥️
I love all of this, and I'm pleased to hear you've had positive experiences with the big blue birthday tome. (I want to love it, really I do, which is probably why I continue to haul it everywhere but the donation bin.) Of course, this makes me curious as to what it says about your own birthday. Do you agree with its assessment? :) Very glad you found my work! Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to reading more of your writing, too.
I think most of us have thought of this at one point or another, but what often fascinates me and I write about is what other paths I could have taken. There’s a period in my life when I feel like a choice or two made in a different way could have altered many things in my life. And then I think..what if I’m living one of those moments now?
I loved this! I listened to the audio for a change (due to laundry) and it was a lovely experience. The card especially struck me as this week—when I'm swirling over a decision that I should probably just let be. It's my son's preschool and I feel all this crazy pressure to get him in "The Best" school when really maybe what he's in now is...enough. Despite an obsessed-with-Rumi phase, I did not know that quote! It reminded me of this bit of the Tao that keeps coming back to me: "To know enough's enough is enough to know."
Hi Caroline,
I first came across your work years ago through Cup of Jo and was so happy to start following this newsletter a few months back. I’m going through a difficult time and reading your essays and tarot readings each week has been a delightful balm for a weary soul. Thank you for your dedication ~ I’m sure there are many readers just like me who may not comment but whose lives are enhanced weekly by your gift and insights. Xo
Hi Courtney. Sorry to hear things have been difficult lately. Thank you for the kind words. I very much appreciate your note and am so glad you’re reading. x
Ha! I recently rediscovered that same toxic Birthday book hidden away on a shelf in my home. Reading this post felt like kismet—I've been having the same thoughts; wondering if everyone is having a better time; thinking about Issa Rae and Nora Ephron, too.
Comparison is the death of joy—but maybe it can be the birth of something new.
Thank you for articulating it all so well. xx
Hello Caroline, I stumbled upon your newsletter a few months ago when I promised myself that I would write here more frequently too. I’ve struggled with being a writer, or even showing up for my craft and sometimes I think I spend too long just moping about my lack of success. How do you keep showing up for your work here, week after week? Don’t you feel demotivated and indifferent towards it sometimes?
Hi Akanksha, This is an excellent question. I don't have a simple answer, but I'll do my best.
Yes, I feel unmotivated and apathetic about my writing at least fifty percent of the time. Some months I'm into it, others, not so much. If I get right down to it, though, these feelings are usually not about the writing itself. Often it's because I doubt my own worthiness, or because I see someone else who seems to have an easier/better/more successful time.
I've been dedicated to showing up here, every week, because I was fortunate to have some readers from the beginning and that helped me feel accountable to the cadence I'd promised. But long before this newsletter, there were various blogs and other projects I launched and abandoned, for years. The internet is littered with the detritus of my inconsistency. But I've gotten better with time.
I took a look at your newsletter and notice that you say an aim of your writing is to help people feel less alone. That's a wonderful why. And that's a big part of what helps keep me motivated, too. Whenever I don't feel like showing up, I think of all the writers whose words made a difference to me over the years—in advice columns and interviews and personal essays and memoirs and novels. And I think that if something I share has the power to make just one person's week better, it'll be worth it. (Often, after I've actually written, it makes my week better, too.)
I hope this helps. I'm happy you're reading and even happier that you're writing. Keep going.
Ohhhh the birthday book! Oh Orna! Oh those who yell-talk! Thank you for the on-the-mark and oh-so-human insight and the laughs, as always. 🙌
Thank you, Claire! 💕
That birthday book has played an outsized role in my life and I wish it hadn't. Thank you, Caroline.
Ngl I’m wondering what it says for my birthday? April 23? Lol
Hello! A couple of uncanny things that jumped out as I read your work for the first time today: At 15 my dream job was to come up with names for nail polish (I became a teacher instead but do always pick my mani/pedi colors 50% based on name).
Also, I too have moved the massive Secret Language of Birthdays multiple places in the last ~30 years, though I love it; I used it to pick my kids’ birthdates (generally for my son as he was 2 weeks early but on the dot for my daughter’s scheduled C-section - I even got to tell John Cusack he was part of the reason for my choice of June 28...speaking of celebrity encounters).
And today is a new moon so that might explain some weirdness & unmooring.
So, thank you for sharing this excellent writing. Have a marvelous week ♥️
I love all of this, and I'm pleased to hear you've had positive experiences with the big blue birthday tome. (I want to love it, really I do, which is probably why I continue to haul it everywhere but the donation bin.) Of course, this makes me curious as to what it says about your own birthday. Do you agree with its assessment? :) Very glad you found my work! Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to reading more of your writing, too.
I do agree, because #Virgo and #EternallySelfCritical 😬
Daria forever 🫶
And ever and ever. 🖤
I think most of us have thought of this at one point or another, but what often fascinates me and I write about is what other paths I could have taken. There’s a period in my life when I feel like a choice or two made in a different way could have altered many things in my life. And then I think..what if I’m living one of those moments now?
Hi, Caroline --
About The Lesson I'm Still Learning -- one of the people I admire is you! Thanks for your writing.
Thank you so much! 🥹❤️
Loved the tarot pull today. A reminder for me to appreciate all that I have accomplished, acquired, completed, and created for myself.
I love you, Caroline!
Thank you! 🥹🥰😘
Thanks for sharing. Love this! xxoo
I loved this! I listened to the audio for a change (due to laundry) and it was a lovely experience. The card especially struck me as this week—when I'm swirling over a decision that I should probably just let be. It's my son's preschool and I feel all this crazy pressure to get him in "The Best" school when really maybe what he's in now is...enough. Despite an obsessed-with-Rumi phase, I did not know that quote! It reminded me of this bit of the Tao that keeps coming back to me: "To know enough's enough is enough to know."
Great post from the archives! Thanks for sharing :)
Algie's relentless, but also got nothin' on You...
Thank you ❤️