Thanks for this: "The faces may be forgotten, but the feelings were not." I often become self-critical when reflecting about previous versions of myself in relation to people that once were part of my contact list. Of course, there's always room for personal accountability (I bet I also prompted big emotions in them), but in essence there's no need of obsessing about the details of what went wrong. The evidence is here: the feelings about them or the relationship are still lingering and that could (should?) be enough.
Oh, I share these feelings. Scrolling through those names brought up a fair amount of shame, embarrassment, and a whole host of other unpleasant feelings... over things that happened years, in some cases, decades ago! But your point is such a good one — what if there are just as many people out there feeling the same way when they see our names go by? Maybe it's an inevitable part of growth.
Omg this: "... that feeling when digital photo albums or social media platforms present you with a “remember when” montage, set to some strange instrumental, and it feels like you’ve just been emotionally assaulted?"
I really enjoyed this piece, I have resisted The Big Phone Cull for years but I reckon there must be at least 300 people whose numbers I will never need again (random example - 'Brendan Smoking'). So hard to let go, you cling on, don't know why.. hopefully you've goaded me into action :)
'Brendan Smoking' gave me a good laugh. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in this — I wish you luck in taking that step toward a somewhat lighter list! :)
Caroline, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, your viewpoints in your beautiful letters. I love that card and its description. I had a lot of losses due to death in my life, but the memories will last forever, and I also had other losses due to the fact that some people moved away or didn't maintain contact and some people I chose to let go for particular reasons, and I am healthier because of it. We change and so do others. We're not the same person we were last year or even yesterday.
Your comments made me realize I also need to clean house, ridding myself of people who, whether they’re from good or bad experiences, need to be dropped simply from so much loss of contact on both ends.
Add to that the increasing number of emails I receive, some as a result of being put on other’s’ mailing lists, clogging up my phone and I have a lot of work to do.
Thanks for this: "The faces may be forgotten, but the feelings were not." I often become self-critical when reflecting about previous versions of myself in relation to people that once were part of my contact list. Of course, there's always room for personal accountability (I bet I also prompted big emotions in them), but in essence there's no need of obsessing about the details of what went wrong. The evidence is here: the feelings about them or the relationship are still lingering and that could (should?) be enough.
Oh, I share these feelings. Scrolling through those names brought up a fair amount of shame, embarrassment, and a whole host of other unpleasant feelings... over things that happened years, in some cases, decades ago! But your point is such a good one — what if there are just as many people out there feeling the same way when they see our names go by? Maybe it's an inevitable part of growth.
Omg this: "... that feeling when digital photo albums or social media platforms present you with a “remember when” montage, set to some strange instrumental, and it feels like you’ve just been emotionally assaulted?"
Who the hell green-lighted this??
I really enjoyed this piece, I have resisted The Big Phone Cull for years but I reckon there must be at least 300 people whose numbers I will never need again (random example - 'Brendan Smoking'). So hard to let go, you cling on, don't know why.. hopefully you've goaded me into action :)
'Brendan Smoking' gave me a good laugh. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in this — I wish you luck in taking that step toward a somewhat lighter list! :)
I'll need all the luck I can get - and so will Brendan... :)
Oh Caro plus the crippling anxiety that I will accidentally call one of these relics!
Ahh! This is such a good point!
Caroline, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, your viewpoints in your beautiful letters. I love that card and its description. I had a lot of losses due to death in my life, but the memories will last forever, and I also had other losses due to the fact that some people moved away or didn't maintain contact and some people I chose to let go for particular reasons, and I am healthier because of it. We change and so do others. We're not the same person we were last year or even yesterday.
Thank you, Yvonne. I've been thinking of you and hope you are well.
Your comments made me realize I also need to clean house, ridding myself of people who, whether they’re from good or bad experiences, need to be dropped simply from so much loss of contact on both ends.
Add to that the increasing number of emails I receive, some as a result of being put on other’s’ mailing lists, clogging up my phone and I have a lot of work to do.