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Joana's avatar

More and more I have come to realize that the best way to deal with my inner critic is to not try to fight it. Accept that it is there and maybe even has a job to fulfill. I loved that yours has a name - that is a great idea!!

This also reminded me of Liz Gilbert's letter to fear in Big Magic - of which I think about every time I feel fear trying to derail me:

“Dearest Fear:

Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you always do. I do acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that your take your job seriously. Apparently your job is to induce complete panic whenever I’m about to do anything interesting – and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are part of this family, and I will never exclude you from our activities, but still – your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.”

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

The best. I keep a copy of that book right next to my desk for this very reason. Thank you for sharing it here. ❤️

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🥰 Rusty's avatar

Ah yes!

My inner critic doesn't have a name and I don't hear that much from her, thankfully (not scared abput publ8c speaking, taking risks, meeting new people, etc.).

However, over the last week, she has been NOISY!

I volunteer for WAFA (Western Australian Forest Alliance) and this coming weekend is a two day, one night forest field trip. We've succeeded in stopping old growth forest logging in my state's south from 2024! Legislated! Whoo-hoo!

Anyway, since I escaped my abuser, I've had a little bit of agrophobia (based on never being alone for @12 years. N.e.v.e.r.). All week long, inner critic was nagging me abput how anxious I'd be, how uncomfortable I'd be in my sleeping bag coz it's winter here... on and on.

Well, I'm going.

I've booked it, made a packing list and verbally committed to friends and family that I'm going.

Not one person has questioned me about it.

So, I effectively "swashbuckled" my inner critic andeach step toward normality that I take becomes stronger and firmer. Hehehe 😏

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Rusty, you have to let me know how the forest trip goes! That sounds wonderful (and even if it's not, like something you'll feel good about after the fact). Good for you for committing. I hope it's great.

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🥰 Rusty's avatar

Thank you. Part of it is viewing the total destruction caused by Bauxite mining; literally nothing left but barren earth and gouged mining pits.

I need to see it first hand, even though I'll probably cry. Okay, I will cry.

I'm writing and running training courses for WAFA as a volunteer, so I need to get fired up to do it well.🤨

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Yvonne's avatar

All the best to you!

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🥰 Rusty's avatar

Thanks Yvonne.

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🥰 Rusty's avatar

Obvs not scared @ making typos on a legit writer's site either...mwahaha🤣

Oooh ... I just fibbed!

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

A friend always says “No one ever says ‘so-and-so is my favorite writer because they never make typos.’” We’re all just after the communication!

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🥰 Rusty's avatar

🤣True!

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Yvonne's avatar

Since Covid-19 two years ago, I find myself experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety. It started with the fact that I am immuno-compromised and afraid to catch Covid which meant being stuck indoors but now that the restrictions are no longer in place I find myself even more afraid. I make an effort to go to the park (very little people) for a walk and get some fresh air. It's an everyday battle but I am very proud of myself when I don't give in to my fears. I have overcome other fears such as the need for approval, what people think of me, etc. It took a long time but I am getting better at not listening to my inner critic. I acknowledge it and respect it but a lot of the times it's voices from the past and it has nothing to do with the present circumstances. Thoughts are not facts. Thank you Caroline for your beautiful writing and interesting topics.

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🥰 Rusty's avatar

You can do it, Yvonne.

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Kayla Peart's avatar

Fear is fickle and the more I feed into it, the more debilitated I become. The best remedy is to keep my head down and keep working, despite what my inner critic says.

Each time I write something, whether I think it’s good or meh, it proves I’m not giving up. Then the voice gets smaller and smaller, enough to where I can work (mostly) in peace. ✨

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Renay Shaffer's avatar

Another fabulously written, resonating so that it feels like it-was-written-for-me letter, completed beautifully with the Ten of Swords and your explanation of it. Bravo...and thank you <3

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Thank you so much, Renay. ❤️

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Katherine's avatar

Lovely poem, I am going to print it out and put it somewhere I can always see it!

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Caroline Cala Donofrio's avatar

Mary Oliver's words never disappoint.

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Karen Wiener's avatar

Thank you. My inner critic has been quite vocal lately.

Karen

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