Oh gosh. I really loved this. I will now think of myself as an old rental apartment with layers and layers of paint. I especially needed the thoughts on strength. I know I am strong or I would not be standing, but sometimes I forget the different forms strength takes.
I am very sorry for the grief you are carrying right now.
Ooooh. Exactly what I needed to hear tonight. My lion often takes the tone of my perfectionist father and when it roars I feel small and angry that I'm small and didn't do it right. I love thinking about that lion as my strength and instead of letting her roar at me, offer her a caress and let her know that we can be stronger together. My lion voice as self love rather than self hate. Thank you for this!
Oh Caroline, I'm so worried you may have lost your sweet, darling dog. Of course I don't know you, but I've been reading your writing since CoJ days, and my heart aches for you. I lost my dog/best friend/perfect boy almost a year ago and so while I can empathize with this brand of grief particularly sharply, any grief is heavy and painful and I'm sending you a hug no matter what (if that's not too weird from an internet stranger).
Thank you, Virginia. That’s not weird at all and very appreciated. I am sad to say that you are correct — after a difficult couple of weeks, we said goodbye to her this weekend. (It is, as you say, a very particular brand of grief. This week’s letter is delayed as a result.) I so appreciate your concern and your kindness. It is felt. 💛
I'm so, so, so sorry. I hope you're finding space to grieve and treasure her and everything she gave you. I am quite sure she knew she had your whole heart 🤍
I'm sure some of those layers of paint are lethally packed with lead.
Caroline! How do you know when I need to hear exactly what I need to hear?!?!?
Yesterday painted a new layer of toxic paint in my being: my abuser breached his restraining order and life is, again, turned upside down. 😫 Ugh! Screech! Boom!
All this to say...WOW!!! What a compelling, powerful piece of writing.
It moved me so deeply, it scraped across my bone marrow.
Yet again, thank you for your offerings into the ether.
There are real, fleshy, breathing and sometimes suffering human beings out here and we truly appreciate you.
You speak my language of nuance and magic, hidden strength and bravery to find it. Thank you. Even in the scattered you still find kernels of truth that shine for us.
Truly truly touching. I want to print this out and have it up in my office as like a daily affirmation or inspiration or reading to get me ready for the day!
Hi Caroline! I am new to your Substack and just wanted to let you know how thoroughly I am enjoying and appreciating your thoughts and wisdoms! Thank you 🙏🏻 💫🩵
Right before I read this, I deleted 80 promotional emails and thought, I really should be unsubscribing to these. This little essay is just beautiful. I especially enjoyed the just say the word bit! So many gems in here 💜
So beautiful! And powerful too. I'm feeling I've reached that point in life where you're just so calm and clear about what matters to you, without having the old struggles to feel seen or approved. It's like I reached my 40s, now 42 and life is just flowering! It's so liberating and it's only getting started.
Ps: I enjoyed your writing a lot, very soft, kind, flowing, deep and light at the same time. Happy to read you!
Oh gosh. I really loved this. I will now think of myself as an old rental apartment with layers and layers of paint. I especially needed the thoughts on strength. I know I am strong or I would not be standing, but sometimes I forget the different forms strength takes.
I am very sorry for the grief you are carrying right now.
Thank you, Martha. I'm so glad to hear it resonated. ❤️
Feeling the need to send an internet hug your way 💛 This was very moving, Caroline. You’re writing and vulnerability are gifts x
Thank you, Meg! Felt and appreciated. :)
Ooooh. Exactly what I needed to hear tonight. My lion often takes the tone of my perfectionist father and when it roars I feel small and angry that I'm small and didn't do it right. I love thinking about that lion as my strength and instead of letting her roar at me, offer her a caress and let her know that we can be stronger together. My lion voice as self love rather than self hate. Thank you for this!
Oh Caroline, I'm so worried you may have lost your sweet, darling dog. Of course I don't know you, but I've been reading your writing since CoJ days, and my heart aches for you. I lost my dog/best friend/perfect boy almost a year ago and so while I can empathize with this brand of grief particularly sharply, any grief is heavy and painful and I'm sending you a hug no matter what (if that's not too weird from an internet stranger).
Thank you, Virginia. That’s not weird at all and very appreciated. I am sad to say that you are correct — after a difficult couple of weeks, we said goodbye to her this weekend. (It is, as you say, a very particular brand of grief. This week’s letter is delayed as a result.) I so appreciate your concern and your kindness. It is felt. 💛
I'm so, so, so sorry. I hope you're finding space to grieve and treasure her and everything she gave you. I am quite sure she knew she had your whole heart 🤍
Loved all of this and especially the reflections on email! Who else could take spam and make it profound?
I have layers and layers of paint!
I'm sure some of those layers of paint are lethally packed with lead.
Caroline! How do you know when I need to hear exactly what I need to hear?!?!?
Yesterday painted a new layer of toxic paint in my being: my abuser breached his restraining order and life is, again, turned upside down. 😫 Ugh! Screech! Boom!
All this to say...WOW!!! What a compelling, powerful piece of writing.
It moved me so deeply, it scraped across my bone marrow.
Yet again, thank you for your offerings into the ether.
There are real, fleshy, breathing and sometimes suffering human beings out here and we truly appreciate you.
🥰 Rusty
You speak my language of nuance and magic, hidden strength and bravery to find it. Thank you. Even in the scattered you still find kernels of truth that shine for us.
Thank you, Samantha. ❤️
"Grief is love with no where to go" Oof, I felt that line. If your heart is feeling heavy, I'm wishing you much comfort for this week.
Thank you for your words.
Truly truly touching. I want to print this out and have it up in my office as like a daily affirmation or inspiration or reading to get me ready for the day!
Hi Caroline! I am new to your Substack and just wanted to let you know how thoroughly I am enjoying and appreciating your thoughts and wisdoms! Thank you 🙏🏻 💫🩵
Thank you so much! That means a lot. 💛
Right before I read this, I deleted 80 promotional emails and thought, I really should be unsubscribing to these. This little essay is just beautiful. I especially enjoyed the just say the word bit! So many gems in here 💜
Thank you so much ❤️
Today's card really spoke to me. Tarot is so beautiful, isn't it? I'm sitting on the bus but I'm almost crying. <3
So beautiful! And powerful too. I'm feeling I've reached that point in life where you're just so calm and clear about what matters to you, without having the old struggles to feel seen or approved. It's like I reached my 40s, now 42 and life is just flowering! It's so liberating and it's only getting started.
Ps: I enjoyed your writing a lot, very soft, kind, flowing, deep and light at the same time. Happy to read you!
Thank you so much, Mariana. And welcome - I’m happy you’re here!
Reads like a poem. Thank you!
❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️