Well, we are grateful you show up week after week. I look forward to your newsletters every Sunday 😃 They entertain, inspire, console. In an age where people get "clicks" for catchy images or viral videos...words are a tough sell. The recipient has to do some work (i.e READ), but when we do, i think the reward is so much greater than a reel or a tik tok.
Victoria! Thank you for this. You've made me feel very seen and appreciated. I do sometimes wish I was in the business of making reels or tik toks (usually when I'm slogging through a piece of writing!), but it's just not my personality. Knowing that people connect to these letters keeps me going and makes it more than worth it.
I was really into knitting about a decade ago, and there was often the question of "are you a process knitter, or a product knitter?" and I decided I was firmly product. I wanted the finished sweater/hat/tea cozy. But then, the more I did it, the more the product didn't matter, and I started to like the making more. Maybe this example doesn't hold up, since I haven't knitted anything in years. But I do think about it when I'm resisting going back in to a story or essay, because I know it's a mess still, and I wish it was just done already. Maybe the problem isn't that I'm a "product" writer now, but that I still haven't done it long enough to really truly trust and enjoy the process.
Maybe it's both? Revising a story for what seems like the thousandth time isn't fun in itself but the process of writing, of discovering where you went wrong—that "aha!" of discovery as you rework and unknot is? And that satisfaction of finally putting it to bed because it's just right? Fabulous.
YES that's my favorite part, the reworking and unknotting. Oh wait. Maybe I do like the process! (I mean, I know I do, it's maybe just that this morning in particular, when I'm figuring out the structure of a novel, I did not like it.)
Needed this today. I am in that space, half way between starting and wondering if the finish line is near or far ahead. Thank you for reminding me that the richness is in the process.
I'd been running on the high of the "quick fix" for way too long. My unofficial resolution for the year was to stop and dig in for the long game. Everything I want is "over there" and there is no fast way to get there. It's baby steps day after day and that suuuuuuucks. I'm really trying to embody the journey aspect of the process, its here where the learning is—right? So this was a nice confirmation/reinforcement of that mindset.
I love and deeply feel all of this. (Especially the part about how baby steps day after day suuuuuuucks. :) But yeah, apparently the journey is where the learning happens? (She says, hopefully.)
“Love can mean deciding you are whole, you are enough, you are more than worth betting on.”
It’s my 34th birthday today, and this idea of being whole and loving yourself is what I’ve reflected on all day. I wish these thoughts were just natural and positive, but it started from realizing in the past 24 hours that I need to end things with a guy I’ve been seeing. But what I’m most proud of entering this next year is this deep knowing that I’m whole with or without him. Wisdom of aging and love, being a whole looking for another whole.
Your beautiful, insightful words are truly the most special of gifts. And what a joy to have it to end this birthday. Thank you, a million times, for all you share.
Thank you so much, Gena. I love the way you phrased this: "a whole looking for another whole." And happy birthday!! I hope you have a wonderful year, filled with wisdom and wholeness and pursuing what resonates for you.
I feel exactly the same about running. The marathon is a fascinating event from me because the set up is that I can't win. How does one choose to show up when winning is off the table? It's the best forum I've known for valuing process.
Isn't it fascinating? There are times when not only can I not win, but my wave won't even take off until after the winners have finished. But then, I have friends who do try to place in their age categories, and they don't seem to have nearly as much fun as I do. Lessons all around.
This was so beautiful and inspiring. I recently graduated from college and everything feels super strange right now. This time of transition and unprecedented anxious feelings makes it hard for me to process and understand. I feel like life is moving so quickly and I am already nostalgic for the time that just ended. I want to "trust the process" but just like you said, it's really hard sometimes. It's extremely difficult for me to find closure and move on to enjoy being in the here and now when there is so much outside pressure to claim your next step or future plan. I want to be able to live in the moment and be appreciative of not only what I am currently experiencing, but also be able to feel the growth and impact of my last 4 years on who I am. Your words are very helpful to me and speak to me in a way that always makes sense. Thank you for being so honest, vulnerable, and specific in explaining certain emotions and experiences. It makes me feel so much less alone in these feelings, and I really look forward to your newsletter every week. I end up quoting them in some of my journal entries and referring back to certain ones when I need some inspiration during the week. You are amazing :)
Hi Emma, Congrats on your recent graduation! I remember that time and these exact feelings so well. It was, as you say, a time of unprecedented anxiety. It seemed like everyone around me knew exactly where they were headed and who they wanted to be (in reality they didn't, and many have changed direction since), and I felt like I would never find my way. At one point, I was considering grad school and reached out to a former professor for a letter of recommendation. Sensing my anxiety, he assured me that it takes pretty much everyone some time to find their footing and land in the moment, and that these feelings were normal. (He was NOT a warm and fuzzy figure, so I knew if he said it, it must be true.) Anyway. His words helped me immensely and maybe they will help you, too. Thank you so much for the kind words — it means a lot! I'm very glad you're here. ❤️
I look forward every week to reading your Wednesday and Sunday posts! Especially Wednesday-don't we all need a bit of inspiration mid-week?! Grateful that you show up every week to share your writing with all of us. I have learned so much about tarot too, and it has enhanced my own approach to my tarot readings greatly! Cheers to you :-)
Thank you for this week's letter, it really resonates! Trusting the process is certainly a chore (I'm usually asking myself where is this getting me and when the hell will I get there??), but there is something to be said about actually enjoying the process. Sometimes it isn't always the case (like in writing, haha), but the moments of satisfaction in between make it worthwhile.
This post really resonates with me. It is so hard trusting the process when I can't be sure it will ever lead to what I dreamed it might - i.e. if it is even the 'right' process to be trusting - and because in these times there are so many easier things that can be ticked off instead (hello procrastination). Thank you so much for your wonderful, insightful posts week after week, Caroline.
Thank you Caroline, I'm so grateful I found your Substack and I really hope you always find the strength to write something. Because on mornings like this, after a dodgy week or two of questioning just about everything; when I read one of your brilliant posts as the sun rises over the horizon, shining so brightly in to my window, I realize how fortunate I am. And more especially, how loved I am. Last night I was drawn to watch a documentary on BBC iPlayer about the author Charlie Mackesy, who wrote the book, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, which became an Oscar winning short film. It made me cry. With love. There is sooooooooo much love in that man and his work and in the documentary, which is why the book and film shows us how to love in the simplest of forms. If you use a VPN you can watch it, as I have to do in Spain. https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001gnqz/charlie-mackesy-the-boy-the-mole-the-fox-the-horse-and-me
Sally, thank you for this beautiful comment. And for the documentary recommendation. It sounds wonderful and full of heart, like the exact thing I've been needing. I'll be sure to check it out this week. :) Sending you love and good wishes across the ocean.
Well, we are grateful you show up week after week. I look forward to your newsletters every Sunday 😃 They entertain, inspire, console. In an age where people get "clicks" for catchy images or viral videos...words are a tough sell. The recipient has to do some work (i.e READ), but when we do, i think the reward is so much greater than a reel or a tik tok.
Victoria! Thank you for this. You've made me feel very seen and appreciated. I do sometimes wish I was in the business of making reels or tik toks (usually when I'm slogging through a piece of writing!), but it's just not my personality. Knowing that people connect to these letters keeps me going and makes it more than worth it.
I was really into knitting about a decade ago, and there was often the question of "are you a process knitter, or a product knitter?" and I decided I was firmly product. I wanted the finished sweater/hat/tea cozy. But then, the more I did it, the more the product didn't matter, and I started to like the making more. Maybe this example doesn't hold up, since I haven't knitted anything in years. But I do think about it when I'm resisting going back in to a story or essay, because I know it's a mess still, and I wish it was just done already. Maybe the problem isn't that I'm a "product" writer now, but that I still haven't done it long enough to really truly trust and enjoy the process.
Maybe it's both? Revising a story for what seems like the thousandth time isn't fun in itself but the process of writing, of discovering where you went wrong—that "aha!" of discovery as you rework and unknot is? And that satisfaction of finally putting it to bed because it's just right? Fabulous.
YES that's my favorite part, the reworking and unknotting. Oh wait. Maybe I do like the process! (I mean, I know I do, it's maybe just that this morning in particular, when I'm figuring out the structure of a novel, I did not like it.)
😂 Yes! Being a writer is all sorts of fun, isn’t it? 😉😂
Needed this today. I am in that space, half way between starting and wondering if the finish line is near or far ahead. Thank you for reminding me that the richness is in the process.
Consistency is the virtue that each of us needs gentle reminder of.
and running is such powerful act that teaches us about humility and LIFE!! - from a novice & inconsistent runner
I'd been running on the high of the "quick fix" for way too long. My unofficial resolution for the year was to stop and dig in for the long game. Everything I want is "over there" and there is no fast way to get there. It's baby steps day after day and that suuuuuuucks. I'm really trying to embody the journey aspect of the process, its here where the learning is—right? So this was a nice confirmation/reinforcement of that mindset.
I love and deeply feel all of this. (Especially the part about how baby steps day after day suuuuuuucks. :) But yeah, apparently the journey is where the learning happens? (She says, hopefully.)
Oh to be on the other side with that green, green grass! 😂
“Love can mean deciding you are whole, you are enough, you are more than worth betting on.”
It’s my 34th birthday today, and this idea of being whole and loving yourself is what I’ve reflected on all day. I wish these thoughts were just natural and positive, but it started from realizing in the past 24 hours that I need to end things with a guy I’ve been seeing. But what I’m most proud of entering this next year is this deep knowing that I’m whole with or without him. Wisdom of aging and love, being a whole looking for another whole.
Your beautiful, insightful words are truly the most special of gifts. And what a joy to have it to end this birthday. Thank you, a million times, for all you share.
Thank you so much, Gena. I love the way you phrased this: "a whole looking for another whole." And happy birthday!! I hope you have a wonderful year, filled with wisdom and wholeness and pursuing what resonates for you.
I feel exactly the same about running. The marathon is a fascinating event from me because the set up is that I can't win. How does one choose to show up when winning is off the table? It's the best forum I've known for valuing process.
Isn't it fascinating? There are times when not only can I not win, but my wave won't even take off until after the winners have finished. But then, I have friends who do try to place in their age categories, and they don't seem to have nearly as much fun as I do. Lessons all around.
This was so beautiful and inspiring. I recently graduated from college and everything feels super strange right now. This time of transition and unprecedented anxious feelings makes it hard for me to process and understand. I feel like life is moving so quickly and I am already nostalgic for the time that just ended. I want to "trust the process" but just like you said, it's really hard sometimes. It's extremely difficult for me to find closure and move on to enjoy being in the here and now when there is so much outside pressure to claim your next step or future plan. I want to be able to live in the moment and be appreciative of not only what I am currently experiencing, but also be able to feel the growth and impact of my last 4 years on who I am. Your words are very helpful to me and speak to me in a way that always makes sense. Thank you for being so honest, vulnerable, and specific in explaining certain emotions and experiences. It makes me feel so much less alone in these feelings, and I really look forward to your newsletter every week. I end up quoting them in some of my journal entries and referring back to certain ones when I need some inspiration during the week. You are amazing :)
Hi Emma, Congrats on your recent graduation! I remember that time and these exact feelings so well. It was, as you say, a time of unprecedented anxiety. It seemed like everyone around me knew exactly where they were headed and who they wanted to be (in reality they didn't, and many have changed direction since), and I felt like I would never find my way. At one point, I was considering grad school and reached out to a former professor for a letter of recommendation. Sensing my anxiety, he assured me that it takes pretty much everyone some time to find their footing and land in the moment, and that these feelings were normal. (He was NOT a warm and fuzzy figure, so I knew if he said it, it must be true.) Anyway. His words helped me immensely and maybe they will help you, too. Thank you so much for the kind words — it means a lot! I'm very glad you're here. ❤️
I look forward every week to reading your Wednesday and Sunday posts! Especially Wednesday-don't we all need a bit of inspiration mid-week?! Grateful that you show up every week to share your writing with all of us. I have learned so much about tarot too, and it has enhanced my own approach to my tarot readings greatly! Cheers to you :-)
Thank you, Claire! ❤️ It makes me so happy to hear that — especially that you love Wednesday! And tarot. Very grateful you're here.
Thank you for this week's letter, it really resonates! Trusting the process is certainly a chore (I'm usually asking myself where is this getting me and when the hell will I get there??), but there is something to be said about actually enjoying the process. Sometimes it isn't always the case (like in writing, haha), but the moments of satisfaction in between make it worthwhile.
Thank you, Maddy! ❤️
<3
This post really resonates with me. It is so hard trusting the process when I can't be sure it will ever lead to what I dreamed it might - i.e. if it is even the 'right' process to be trusting - and because in these times there are so many easier things that can be ticked off instead (hello procrastination). Thank you so much for your wonderful, insightful posts week after week, Caroline.
Thank you Caroline, I'm so grateful I found your Substack and I really hope you always find the strength to write something. Because on mornings like this, after a dodgy week or two of questioning just about everything; when I read one of your brilliant posts as the sun rises over the horizon, shining so brightly in to my window, I realize how fortunate I am. And more especially, how loved I am. Last night I was drawn to watch a documentary on BBC iPlayer about the author Charlie Mackesy, who wrote the book, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, which became an Oscar winning short film. It made me cry. With love. There is sooooooooo much love in that man and his work and in the documentary, which is why the book and film shows us how to love in the simplest of forms. If you use a VPN you can watch it, as I have to do in Spain. https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001gnqz/charlie-mackesy-the-boy-the-mole-the-fox-the-horse-and-me
Sally, thank you for this beautiful comment. And for the documentary recommendation. It sounds wonderful and full of heart, like the exact thing I've been needing. I'll be sure to check it out this week. :) Sending you love and good wishes across the ocean.
I just finished reading All About Love thirty minutes ago, so I am feeling very spiritually in tune with you. Loved this meditation on love.
I love this. Talk about synchronicity! And what a book.