What Would You Do if You Had No Fear?

Lessons on courage.

Over the course of my career, I’ve been lucky to interview some fascinating individuals, including musicians who perform in front of huge audiences and athletes who pull off death-defying feats. In our conversations, I’ve tried to uncover the secrets behind their courage, hoping there might be a roadmap the rest of us could follow.

I have yet to find an answer.

Most of them shrug, offering up something to the tune of, “I don’t feel fear.” Or the very rational, “The only thing I’m afraid of is the regret I’d feel if I didn’t try.”

As one who is afraid of all sorts of things, from saliva to bar karaoke to standing too close to an open window, it makes me wonder: Is that kind of fearlessness innate, or can it be learned?

It’s just too much.

Alex Honnold, whose name you may recognize from the documentary Free Solo, is regarded as the world’s greatest solo climber. He scales massive cliffs without the aid of ropes or protective equipment, using only the grip of his fingers and toes. He’s even inspired his own verb — “to honnold,” meaning to stand in a precarious place, without fear.

After much public speculation, he finally submitted to brain scans to see if he was, in fact, wired differently than the rest of us. While his brain’s structure — including the amygdala, the mind’s fear center — is not remarkable, doctors found it behaves quite differently. When presented with stimuli that would cause a typical person’s fight-or-flight response to glow brighter than Times Square, his shows no activity. Honnold maintains that he does feel fear, but has trained himself to dull it over years of practice. The truth is anyone’s guess.

From an evolutionary perspective, our fears keep us safe. People who feared the right things — snakes, cliffs, curious mushrooms — survived long enough to pass along their genes. Psychologists tell us that fear and its cousin, anxiety, can be good things, offering the body clues about its limits. But where is the sweet spot between safety and self-restraint?

Of course, there is a pretty important distinction between being fearless and being brave. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to look beyond it.

In recent days, the world has borne witness to tremendous bravery, from Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky to the untrained civilians and volunteers taking up arms to defend their nation. We have seen people stepping beyond their egos — and against every impulse of survival — in the name of a greater cause. As courage knows, there are times when safety is the more dangerous choice.

History is full of such moments. People who risked their own lives to usher others to safety. Activists across the globe who worked tirelessly toward justice and a better world. Volunteers, frontline workers, first responders, and civilians who rushed in when needed. Artists across all disciplines who challenged, expanded, and deepened our points of view.

It can be so easy to see someone as a name. As a figure in a history book or an avatar on a screen. But how incredible to remember that all of them — all of them — are people. Everything we know and everything we have was built by humans, just like us.

Sergeant Stubby, canine war hero

Even so, bravery is not the exclusive territory of humanity. In reading about courage, I came across the heartwarming story of Sergeant Stubby, a stray bull terrier who served in the 102nd infantry in WWI. Originally intended to be a mascot, Stubby was sensitive to the smell of mustard gas and ran through the trenches, barking and biting the soldiers awake. He located wounded soldiers on the battlefield, often waiting with them until medics arrived. He once attacked a “new” soldier who was later discovered to be a spy. By war’s end, he served in 17 battles.

This past week, while discussing the crisis in Ukraine, multiple friends remarked, “I don’t know what I would do in the same situation. Would I stay and defend my home?” The truth is, we never know how we’d react in any circumstance until we are faced with it.

A friend receiving cancer treatment told me, “Everyone keeps saying I’m so brave. I’m not brave; I don’t have a choice. Anyone in this situation would do the same.” Sometimes, courage chooses us. When it does, we may not feel brave. But I’d argue that doesn’t make us any less so.

Indeed, the moments when we get to choose bravery are a privilege. Remembering this can offer perspective, can help train our courage to speak louder than our anxieties. What have I not done due to fear — of embarrassment, failure, judgment, criticism? What living have I not allowed myself? It can feel as though our personal safety is at stake, when under closer inspection, only our egos are in danger.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer… Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” — John Lennon

Daring — whatever that means for us — is one small way to honor our heroes, past and present, by more fully inhabiting the world they’ve helped create. Whether it’s sharing our truth, climbing out on a limb, or attempting something that scares us, let us move through our days with courage. It is the least we can do.

Before the card, a brief announcement…

This newsletter now includes the option for paid subscriptions. The Sunday newsletters will remain exactly the same — available to everyone, in its entirety, for free. Nothing about them will change or move behind a paywall. (In fact, I promise you will never see a paywall on these posts.)

If you enjoy these letters and feel compelled to directly support them (and my ability to continue creating more work like this), there is now a way to do that.

As a thank you, paid subscribers will receive access to additional future content. Along these lines, I’d love to hear what you’d be interested in seeing.

• Longer seasonal tarot readings?

• Workshops and virtual events?

• Book and reading recommendations?

• Behind-the-scenes posts about the writing process?

• …something completely different?

If you’d like to share any ideas or suggestions, you can leave them in the comments or send me an email (carolinecala@substack.com).

This newsletter is such a joy to create, this community an anchor in the strangest of times. Thank you so much for being here, and for letting me be a part of your week.

Card of the Week

Here is this week’s card for the collective, as well as some thoughts to carry into the days ahead. As most modern readers will tell you, the tarot is not about fortunetelling, nor is it about neat, definitive answers. The cards are simply one path to reflection, a way of better knowing ourselves and others through universal themes. If this reading resonates with you, great! And if not, no worries. Take whatever may be helpful and leave the rest.

Featuring the Abstract Futures Tarot by Dannielle Tegeder and Sharmistha Ray

I’ve spent many years overthinking many things. This newsletter wasn’t one of them. Everywhere I looked, I saw other people creating newsletters, carving out spaces for their voices and interests, and felt that particular breed of envy that only blooms when you see someone doing something you hadn’t realized you wanted.

“So…why don’t you make a newsletter?’ asked my partner, quite sensibly, when I shared those feelings.

My brain had a laundry list of excuses at the ready. I had nothing to say. I didn’t have time. What if no one read it? What if people did read it, and hated it? With so much content already in the world, what could I possibly add?

But the thought made me excited. (Something I hadn’t felt in a while.) So I made myself a promise: to show up every week and write whatever felt right.

That was a very Ace of Wands moment.

The Ace of Wands wants you to go for it, especially when it comes to unfamiliar territory. The energy of this card is bold. It’s excited. It’s operating from a place of yes, even if it’s not yet sure why. Its sights are trained on a new venture, direction, or approach…and it is more than ready for the change of scenery.

For whatever reason — innocence, inexperience, a recently completed seminar on the power of positive thinking — the Ace of Wands isn’t fixated on possible stumbling blocks. They aren’t worried about what could go wrong. They are simply forging ahead, chasing the spark that excites them.

This card reminds us that when it comes to following your own voice or vision, you don’t always need a whole roster of experiences or connections or even a fully-fledged plan. Sometimes, enthusiasm is its own sort of breakthrough. The Ace of Wands believes in an “if you build it, they will come” approach. That isn’t pie in the sky thinking because there is real action behind what you’re building and momentum is sure to follow.

Your dreams don’t have to make sense to anyone else. (In fact, they likely won’t.) Who you choose to share them with is entirely up to you.

In traditional depictions, the wand often resembles a branch with new leaves sprouting, symbolizing the potential for growth. It’s a welcome reminder that progress happens in stages. You wouldn’t plant a seed and expect it to blossom, overnight, into a mature plant. But so often we expect this from ourselves and our endeavors. You cannot learn a language in a week, train for a marathon in one day, or build a company in an afternoon. Experience takes time. So does change. Cut yourself some slack.

If there’s one thing I’ve discovered over the course of my career, it’s that everything takes longer than I expect it to — sometimes much longer. That’s the process, as frustrating as it can be. If an answer doesn’t reveal itself immediately, or if a door doesn’t open, it doesn’t mean it never will. Keep going, one foot in front of the other. One day at a time.

As Mary Oliver wrote, “Things take the time they take. Don’t worry.”

But that’s all getting ahead of ourselves. The Ace of Wands urges us to take a step — just one step — trusting the next move will be revealed in time.

Everything that has ever been built began as an idea, a seed, an intention. Start where you are, and trust your sense of direction. Now is as good a time as any.

---

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this letter and would like to receive future installments in your inbox every Sunday, please consider becoming a subscriber.