Your tarot card, the tower, and your column about fun struck very correlated tones with me. As the structural symbol suggests quite often we fail not only to have fun but to even understand what it is due mainly to the petrified structures we’ve built in our lives, unvarying routines that, like pavement, seem to bring order and smooth our life’s journey but, in fact, bury the chance opportunities for unexpected and variegated life to arise.
Fun should never be planned like a blueprint for a dream home. It should occur on the spur of the moment, spontaneous in its ad lib pleasure. We’ve forgotten how to be children - to laugh without checking ourselves, to become fascinated with the minutiae of nature, to run through a meadow or into the water, to be in awe of the vastness of the universe.
Sometimes I think the human penchant to not only know everything but, in doing so, to control it is nothing more than the fear of darkness in the mind of early humans and, much more so today, in ours for the more we think we know and can control the less we understand.
Maybe we need to instead lay back on time’s grassy hill and just gaze up in wonder because, in doing so, we could be fulfilling one of life’s elusive questions. Why are we here? What is the meaning of life?
Maybe having fun, simply enjoying what we experience is one of life’s many secrets.
And that tower? It’s there to tell us that we often need to take a wrecking ball to our fragile sense of sensibility and live in the moment now and then.
I have spent most of last year experiencing very little fun. "Fun" for me as an adult has been found mostly in novelty, which I also wish were not the case. But I really like the definition of fun as "Something to look forward to. Something different, involving planning or presence" - especially the part that involves planning. I'm reminded that fun doesn't have to be something grand. I'm going to make my next adventure of "fun" just to overcome my fear of striking up small talk or conversation with a stranger in gym class or in the coffee line... and now that I have put this out there in the world, I'm going to make myself do it. Ah!
I feel like parenthood, to quote a book title, has been all joy and no fun for me. My kids have fun, of course 🤣 So I wish I had advice, but I only have solidarity.
I will say with writing specifically, do you remember that book The Art of Fielding? In that novel there was a book called The Art of Fielding with all this (dare I say) zany baseball advice. I read an author interview ages ago where he said that entire piece of the book — the zany baseball advice — he wrote just for him, just to have fun while writing. He totally assumed it would be cut. I’m giving the method a go with the novel I’m working on now — I decided to introduce an entire character just for fun (for me) who very well might be excised from it all in the editing process. I figured, what the hell? :) I’m writing for me anyway might as well to attempt to enjoy it! Wishing you a fun filled new year! Xx
This is such an excellent point. I haven't thought about that book in a minute (since it briefly took over the world following its publication) but now I want to revisit it. Doesn't it seem like the things we do just for ourselves, when we manage to carve out the space for them, wind up being the best parts overall? It seems ironic, but actually makes perfect sense. If you write something just for you, it will be pure and authentic and free from creative constraints. And if you have fun writing something, that experience will translate for the reader. I'm excited to see where this character takes you! xx
I’m on my home after the long weekend get away with my girlfriends to NYC. A short trip was just what we all needed to get out of our mundane routines and spark some motivation in the new year. Thanks for sharing Caroline!
Fun has been really tough since COVID! I feel like I am riding the waves of this (and other ongoing) crisis mentally, emotionally, and physically. Over the past few years, I find myself having a lot more fun in the summer when it’s safer and easier to see people. The winter is rough--my urge to cocoon at home is at odds with fun.
I’ve also noticed that a lot of fun for me comes from spontaneity, and it’s hard to be spontaneous (in some ways) in New York. Yes, you can always decide “I’m going to do xyz” and do it, but that doesn’t happen so often for me when I’m constrained by working full time and a very busy schedule. If anything, I’m more routine bound here. Spontaneous drop-bys and hangouts with friends don’t seem to be happening anymore either, or maybe just among my friends who are getting coupled/married/having babies. I’m happy to report fun is still alive out there somewhere (experienced it during grad school in California last year), but maybe not here and not now...?!
This one has been sitting in my in-box for a few days, and I read it on the same day that I woke up and thought: I need to have more fun. I decided while I was still in bed with my coffee to buy some roller skates. I (and everyone else too, it seems) need that kind of light-heartedness right now.
Fun, word of the year, the tower card, and the guest house combine beautifully with regards to my present state of being. I confess I don't have fun - I'm serious by nature. Sure I have some pics going back where I seem to be engaged in what may look like fun but somewhere along the path there's been a turn to deeper seriousness. It may well be for such reasons you mentioned - I don't know.
Maybe the idea of fun is merely a distraction from true matters presented all around. But then I think the many viewing points are as individual to the path walked by their own two feet. My own history of words selected over the years do not reflect any idea of fun and are closer to growth and things I wanted to change, or perhaps aspects of me that needed to grow. I see now, my history of words connected to growth appear to require some action. Being serious why would I even think of personal growth as fun? And , damn it, why do I strive for changing or improving myself? Where is self acceptance in this word of the year equation? Why didn't I choose BE, or "grace" as I recently heard someone speak softly to a gathering of souls.
My experience with the Tower has always been about deconstruction with often less desirable results and requiring a lot of personal energy. I've yet to experience a gentle visit with the Tower. Maybe the Tower IS a keeper of words, and does come as a guide delivering each one from beyond, deemed as necessary.
And herein resides the fun, I guess - to greet the Tower's offering with laughter as the door opens to a new year. Simply, I just want to BE.
I appreciate your gentle and thoughtful letters. Thank you🙏❣️ I'm happy I got to read this😉
This one hit home. Definitely not having any fun over here. I REALLY wonder if anyone is these days. Tiny moments of joy happen occasionally and I try hard to etch them in my memory, but fun seems beyond my reach. On the bright side, the sun is supposed to shine tomorrow and I’m going to do my best to make the absolute most of it…right after I call the dentist about this crown that just popped off.
Your tarot card, the tower, and your column about fun struck very correlated tones with me. As the structural symbol suggests quite often we fail not only to have fun but to even understand what it is due mainly to the petrified structures we’ve built in our lives, unvarying routines that, like pavement, seem to bring order and smooth our life’s journey but, in fact, bury the chance opportunities for unexpected and variegated life to arise.
Fun should never be planned like a blueprint for a dream home. It should occur on the spur of the moment, spontaneous in its ad lib pleasure. We’ve forgotten how to be children - to laugh without checking ourselves, to become fascinated with the minutiae of nature, to run through a meadow or into the water, to be in awe of the vastness of the universe.
Sometimes I think the human penchant to not only know everything but, in doing so, to control it is nothing more than the fear of darkness in the mind of early humans and, much more so today, in ours for the more we think we know and can control the less we understand.
Maybe we need to instead lay back on time’s grassy hill and just gaze up in wonder because, in doing so, we could be fulfilling one of life’s elusive questions. Why are we here? What is the meaning of life?
Maybe having fun, simply enjoying what we experience is one of life’s many secrets.
And that tower? It’s there to tell us that we often need to take a wrecking ball to our fragile sense of sensibility and live in the moment now and then.
I have spent most of last year experiencing very little fun. "Fun" for me as an adult has been found mostly in novelty, which I also wish were not the case. But I really like the definition of fun as "Something to look forward to. Something different, involving planning or presence" - especially the part that involves planning. I'm reminded that fun doesn't have to be something grand. I'm going to make my next adventure of "fun" just to overcome my fear of striking up small talk or conversation with a stranger in gym class or in the coffee line... and now that I have put this out there in the world, I'm going to make myself do it. Ah!
I feel like parenthood, to quote a book title, has been all joy and no fun for me. My kids have fun, of course 🤣 So I wish I had advice, but I only have solidarity.
I will say with writing specifically, do you remember that book The Art of Fielding? In that novel there was a book called The Art of Fielding with all this (dare I say) zany baseball advice. I read an author interview ages ago where he said that entire piece of the book — the zany baseball advice — he wrote just for him, just to have fun while writing. He totally assumed it would be cut. I’m giving the method a go with the novel I’m working on now — I decided to introduce an entire character just for fun (for me) who very well might be excised from it all in the editing process. I figured, what the hell? :) I’m writing for me anyway might as well to attempt to enjoy it! Wishing you a fun filled new year! Xx
This is such an excellent point. I haven't thought about that book in a minute (since it briefly took over the world following its publication) but now I want to revisit it. Doesn't it seem like the things we do just for ourselves, when we manage to carve out the space for them, wind up being the best parts overall? It seems ironic, but actually makes perfect sense. If you write something just for you, it will be pure and authentic and free from creative constraints. And if you have fun writing something, that experience will translate for the reader. I'm excited to see where this character takes you! xx
Wow-add me to the not having fun list! Wasn’t even consciously aware until now although my word for the year is JOY.
Maybe you should schedule a vacation in Italy. Go to Milan, the birthplace of tarocchi (tarot cards).
Ooh, I would love that!
Some things for you to Google re “tarocchi”:
• Il Giardino dei Tarocchi
• Il Meneghello Milan
• International Museum of Tarot Riola
I’m finally going to Italy in May after we cancelled my husband’s 50th birthday trip in June 2020. Very excited to get my tarocchi on 😏
Ahhhh so on point! Needed this. Was just mentioning to 2 besties that I don’t feel like I had any fun lately.
Well put! Now to keep at the magic formula for what you put within "zany"
I’m on my home after the long weekend get away with my girlfriends to NYC. A short trip was just what we all needed to get out of our mundane routines and spark some motivation in the new year. Thanks for sharing Caroline!
This is so true and relatable
"But as an adult, I got the memo that fun must be earned or deserved. It was not the stuff of priority."
I struggle with properly resting and have been trying to unlearn that pattern. Hope you will have more fun this year
Fun has been really tough since COVID! I feel like I am riding the waves of this (and other ongoing) crisis mentally, emotionally, and physically. Over the past few years, I find myself having a lot more fun in the summer when it’s safer and easier to see people. The winter is rough--my urge to cocoon at home is at odds with fun.
I’ve also noticed that a lot of fun for me comes from spontaneity, and it’s hard to be spontaneous (in some ways) in New York. Yes, you can always decide “I’m going to do xyz” and do it, but that doesn’t happen so often for me when I’m constrained by working full time and a very busy schedule. If anything, I’m more routine bound here. Spontaneous drop-bys and hangouts with friends don’t seem to be happening anymore either, or maybe just among my friends who are getting coupled/married/having babies. I’m happy to report fun is still alive out there somewhere (experienced it during grad school in California last year), but maybe not here and not now...?!
This one has been sitting in my in-box for a few days, and I read it on the same day that I woke up and thought: I need to have more fun. I decided while I was still in bed with my coffee to buy some roller skates. I (and everyone else too, it seems) need that kind of light-heartedness right now.
Your letter is brilliant!
Fun, word of the year, the tower card, and the guest house combine beautifully with regards to my present state of being. I confess I don't have fun - I'm serious by nature. Sure I have some pics going back where I seem to be engaged in what may look like fun but somewhere along the path there's been a turn to deeper seriousness. It may well be for such reasons you mentioned - I don't know.
Maybe the idea of fun is merely a distraction from true matters presented all around. But then I think the many viewing points are as individual to the path walked by their own two feet. My own history of words selected over the years do not reflect any idea of fun and are closer to growth and things I wanted to change, or perhaps aspects of me that needed to grow. I see now, my history of words connected to growth appear to require some action. Being serious why would I even think of personal growth as fun? And , damn it, why do I strive for changing or improving myself? Where is self acceptance in this word of the year equation? Why didn't I choose BE, or "grace" as I recently heard someone speak softly to a gathering of souls.
My experience with the Tower has always been about deconstruction with often less desirable results and requiring a lot of personal energy. I've yet to experience a gentle visit with the Tower. Maybe the Tower IS a keeper of words, and does come as a guide delivering each one from beyond, deemed as necessary.
And herein resides the fun, I guess - to greet the Tower's offering with laughter as the door opens to a new year. Simply, I just want to BE.
I appreciate your gentle and thoughtful letters. Thank you🙏❣️ I'm happy I got to read this😉
This one hit home. Definitely not having any fun over here. I REALLY wonder if anyone is these days. Tiny moments of joy happen occasionally and I try hard to etch them in my memory, but fun seems beyond my reach. On the bright side, the sun is supposed to shine tomorrow and I’m going to do my best to make the absolute most of it…right after I call the dentist about this crown that just popped off.