I Went in Search of Adventure
and I found a bunch of cute dogs.
When I was a kid (and by “kid” I mean pretty much any point until my mid-30s), my approach to life went something like this:
Always go.
Party? Parade? Spectacle? I wanted a front row seat.
For a kid from New Jersey with no connections to speak of, this approach served me well. It fueled my move to New York City, saw me through internships and blind dates, job interviews, auditions, and experiences that seemed like a dream. Always go, my thinking went, because you never know what may come of it.
I remember lying awake at night, wrapped in the hope that some great surprise might be just around the corner. Until, at some point, this feeling went away. I blamed age and life and the shape of adulthood. Where had the excitement gone? Why had it abandoned me for someone younger, shinier, with a greater thirst for adventure and fewer fears and hesitations?
It took me a while to realize that I had a hand in this. I was the one who stopped going.
*
When had it happened? I couldn’t quite figure.
There was a pandemic. Some personal challenges. A birthday or ten. There were failures and disappointments and people who took advantage. Boundaries became a buzzword just as burnout (unsurprisingly) ran its course.
Somewhere along the way, I internalized the judgments and expectation of others. Somewhere along the way, I decided I’d had enough.
“Always go” turned into “just say no,” an approach which carries its own form of power.
*
On my last birthday, my partner took the day off so we could spend it together. If I’m being honest, I was a little irritated. Not at his willingness to take the time, but because it meant I would have to step away from my own work for a day.
We went to lunch and walked around downtown Manhattan. It was on this outing that I saw the sign for Cheeseballman427’s event in the park.
“This is the kind of thing I would’ve gone to back in the day,” I thought. But a week later, I did go, and it led to (by the numbers, at least) the most popular post I’ve written to date.
One outing begets another. You never know where it may lead. And that’s when I remembered, like a whisper from another life — always go.
*
This morning, as I searched my brain for anecdotes to anchor this letter, I passed a sign for a local community dog show. It was too late to enter Gnocchi, but in the spirit of “always go,” I decided to attend as a spectator.
The show was chaotic and delightful. There was no shortage of adorable dogs, including a plethora of doodles, schnoodles, and woodles. (But no actual poodles.)
There were five categories — Best Tail, Best Ears, Most Adorable, Looks Most Like Owner, and Best Trick (which boasted few entrants, as performing under pressure is apparently hard for us all).
Some dogs sported apparel, in the hope it might give them an edge…
And some humans did, too, like the below duo competing in the “looks most like owner” category. (Sadly, they did not take home a prize.)
The event raised money for PAWS NY, a volunteer organization that offers dog walking, pet care, and other support to NYC residents who are at-risk of losing their pets due to physical and financial obstacles.
Am I glad I went? Of course I am. Though I admit, I may not have were it not for writing this piece. Pondering the spirit of “always go” made me more inclined to embrace it. But now that I have, I plan to keep at it.
*
The last couple years felt plagued by a lack of wonder. I would sometimes muse on how the days had gone from feeling magical and laden with possibilities, connections, surprises — to burdened with errands and tasks and laundry. “Does it feel like time moves differently now?” a friend recently asked. “It’s like everything takes forever, and yet it seems there is never enough of it. Didn’t I have all these same responsibilities before?”
In the much-touted The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron writes about the concept of an Artist’s Date, a weekly solo outing to refill the proverbial cup. An Artist’s Date should serve no practical purpose beyond the pursuit of pure delight. It could be shopping for art supplies, wandering through a museum, exploring a new-to-you neighborhood, engaging in a favorite childhood activity. The idea is that it is sacred — not to be skipped or scheduled over. Your curiosity is as important as anything on the schedule.
Whether or not one identifies as a creative person (although there is a case to be made that we are all creative, in our own way), the practice of a weekly Artist’s Date seems a wonderful beginner course in “always go.”
Perhaps exploration is a muscle that can be strengthened, over time, until it feels almost like second nature.
*
“Always go” is not the same as “always say yes.” We are under no obligation to go. Once we get there, we are under no obligation to stay. But if it piques our interest, why not check it out? Why not try, knowing a lot of good can come from attempting.
If you scratch beneath the surface, this approach isn’t actually about events or participation, or even adventure. It’s about entertaining the fact that things change — can change, do change, will change — sometimes for the better. And while circumstances inevitably shift around us, why not grant ourselves the leeway to seek out some newness for ourselves?
What may come of it? There’s only one way to find out.
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Card of the Week
Here is this week’s card for the collective, as well as some thoughts to carry into the days ahead. As most modern readers will tell you, the tarot is not about fortunetelling, nor is it about neat, definitive answers. The cards are simply one path to reflection, a way of better knowing ourselves and others through universal themes. If this reading resonates with you, great! And if not, no worries. Take whatever may be helpful and leave the rest.
The Page of Pentacles has a vision.
That doesn’t mean they have a plan. It doesn’t mean the path is without obstacles. It doesn’t mean the outcome is within their grasp.
But bless their focused little heart, they see the light at the end of the tunnel, and they’re going to keep moving toward it, come what may.
On the surface, this week’s card is about that time-honored urging to go after our dreams. But its real message is about enjoying the path as much as the visions themselves. A lot of attention is paid to outcomes, the fruits of our labor, the rewards for our perseverance. But simply wanting something — feeling the drive of passion, desire, ambition — can give us purpose, focus, and meaning.
Perhaps you know exactly what that is for you. Maybe it’s more amorphous. Or maybe you’re still in the process of seeking it, or defining it for yourself.
Wherever we are on our current path, the Page of Pentacles encourages us to set our sights on something — big or small, public or private, in a week or a month or a year. Find something that matters to you.
Pentacles are the suit of material things — what we build, what we value, all we see and touch. The Page of Pentacles gazes upon the coin in their hand as though it is the most precious object in existence.
It asks us to consider what we regard this way. What do we find unspeakably beautiful? Utterly irreplaceable? Wonderful beyond measure?
Passion isn’t everything. Contemporary life is full of the necessary, the nonnegotiable, the unasked-for. We cannot chase every whim or devote ourselves to every delight. But this card isn’t asking us to.
This week’s message merely encourages us to choose one thing — one beacon to look forward to, one project to try, one curiosity to explore.
The Page of Pentacles bids us to ask ourselves:
What would I do if I had more energy, more time, more resources…and can I do it anyway?
Or, to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, what would I do if I knew I could not fail?
The answer is a great place to start.
I love “always go.” I have a corollary for relationships: “when in doubt, reach out.” :)
Love the fact that making the decision to go to Cheeseball man’s event and writing the post so we could all ‘attend’ with you was so embraced by us, your readers. It was such a “human nature” story with joy for all in the midst of this mad world.